


68

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Depression, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Build, USUK is a bad couple in this one (I'm sorry I love USUK but I needed it for plot), cheesy as hell, i use google translate for all of my foreign stuff so please correct me when it's wrong, it's never explicitly stated but you should get the idea, just a warning, main pairing is Prucan, probably gonna have self-harm at some point, rape is only vaguely described, rated explicit for language and future bad stuff, tagging as it goes so i dont spoil everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:12:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew was used to spending his days alone, besides being with his family. Lately, however, Alfred was out more and more with his new boyfriend. When Gilbert Beilschmidt - loud, kind of annoying, and obsessed with his new blonde friend - comes to his school and befriends him, Matthew is stunned. Stunned and happy.</p><p>Follow these two insufferable dorks as they fall all over each other and discover the darker parts of each other's lives.</p><p>(My summary sucks but this is major WIP so yeah. This is gonna get really bumpy and dark so if you're sensitive to really bad situations I just suggest you not read. However, if you're sadistic as hell and want to see these two sinnamon rolls suffer, be my guest. Enjoy!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thus is his cheek the map of days outworn

**Author's Note:**

> I am the definition of an idiot. I said I would post this - what, three days ago? I'm sorry. Please take the fic that I have slowly been using to ruin my life, lovelies.

Matthew had never been one to draw attention - he knew that. He was used to people overlooking him in favor of paying attention to his twin brother, Alfred, who was loud and smiling and shone like the sun in any room he went into. Matthew had learned to enjoy the isolation, and became content with watching his brother be happy and talk excitedly to the other people. 

 

They were both juniors in high school, and while most people had huge groups of friends or crowded around the popular people (i.e., crowd around Alfred and his little friend group), Matthew was by himself and satisfied with the company his brother provided when they were at home, playing video games and talking into the late hours of the night, and occasionally going out to compete in hockey (Matthew’s sport) or baseball (Alfred’s choice) on the weekends.

 

However, even Matthew couldn’t deny the sinking feeling he started to get after Alfred got into a relationship: he had been completely enamoured with the new student who had just moved from England, who didn’t try to get closer to Al like everyone else. Matthew could tell just from observing that in every way that Alfred was the sun, Arthur was the moon on a windy night. They fought like cats and dogs, and it was very obvious by the shouting he heard outside his window and through the thin walls as they yelled at each other. 

 

_ The only thing worse than the fighting is the make-up sex that comes right after, _ Matthew thought bitterly, purple bags under his eyes as he recalled the sinful noises that had echoed through the halls well into the early hours of the morning.  _ You’d think three rounds would satisfy them. They’re fucking animals. _

 

Matthew was distinctly not in the mood for anything today, wishing he had stayed in bed that morning as he plopped down into his seat in English. As the room began to crowd with people, Matthew looked up at the schedule for that class, which was written on the board. Upon confirming that he knew all of it already, he put his headphones in, put his phone on shuffle, and laid his head down on his desk.

 

So Matthew fell asleep, and didn’t notice the boy with the ruby eyes and snow white hair that sat in front of him. The albino noticed the boy who sat behind him, and adjusted the glasses on his nose as he leaned in to get a closer look at the puff of hair that strangely reminded him of his pet canary. Gilbert was almost tempted to reach out and touch the feathery strands, to see if they were just as soft, but as he moved to pet it, the teacher walked in and shouted something about everyone shutting up. Gilbert decided that for his first day, he would actually pay attention, and stayed quiet so as not to wake the puff of hair behind him, not able to see the headphones in his ears buried beneath the soft blonde hair.

 

As the lesson on some Shakespearean sonnet that had been assigned reading began, Gilbert started to daydream, as he had just transferred into this school today and had no hope of keeping up with something he hadn’t read.

 

Soon, the teacher started to get frustrated, as it seemed everyone else in the class was just as lost as Gilbert on the subject of the poem they had supposedly read. She had been asking questions that no one had an answer to for about twenty minutes, and had finally seemed to reach her breaking point as she slammed her hands down on the table.

 

“You people need to study! Is Matthew not here? I know at least  _ he  _ did the reading!” she exclaimed, eyes searching the room. People started murmuring and giggling under their breath as her eyes landed on the sleeping form of her star student, completely oblivious to the chaos currently in the room.

 

The teacher was fuming, and reached up to run a hand through her hair as she locked eyes on Gilbert. He glanced around to see if there was someone else she could be looking at, but her eyes only narrowed.

 

“You, new kid,” she called, pointing at him, “wake up the boy behind you!”

 

Gilbert didn’t have any particular reaction to this, and felt a small smirk as the attention in the room focused in on him, the other students seeming to go reeling at his unnatural appearance. Apparently none of them had ever seen an albino before, but Gilbert wasn’t particularly surprised. They weren’t exactly common.

 

He turned and shook the shoulder covered by a red hoodie, and watched as lavender eyes and pale skin slowly surfaced from the pile of blonde locks, unfocused behind skewed red frames. Matthew, still groggy from his nap, had a hard time realizing what exactly he was looking at, only seeing the sparkling ruby eyes and wild mess of white hair that reminded him of smoke in moonlight, and the music playing in his ears was too loud to realize he accidentally whispered the word ‘beautiful’ as he started to come to.

 

The pale cheeks on the albino pinked slightly as he made a motion for Matthew to pull out his headphones, and tilted his head towards the teacher. Matthew immediately yanked out both headphones and fixed his glasses, hearing the snickers of his classmates before the teacher was shouting, leaving him slightly reminiscent of the night before.

 

“Matthew Jones,” the teacher snapped, “since you obviously don’t feel the need to pay attention, surely you can stand and recite the entire poem for us?”

 

Matthew blinked, distracting Gilbert from everything else, causing him to focus on the blonde lashes framing those strange purple eyes that had caught his attention. Matthew stood up, ignoring the comments and laughs from the other students.

 

“Yes ma’am,” he said, straightening out his hoodie. Teachers had tried embarrassing him before, and it still wouldn’t work.

 

Gilbert was immediately zoning in on the soft voice and the way Matthew’s lips moved as he recited the sonnet word for word, and the implications behind them.

 

“ _Thus is his cheek the map of days outworn,_

_ When beauty lived and died as flowers do now, _

_ Before these bastard signs of fair were born, _

_ Or durst inhabit on a living brow: _

_ Before the golden tresses of the dead, _

_ The right of sepulchres, were shorn away, _

_ To live a second life on second head, _

_ Ere beauty's dead fleece made another gay: _

_In him those holy antique hours-_ ”

 

Matthew suddenly lost his train of thought as he glanced at the boy who had woken him, feeling the intense stare. It was looking down at those eyes the colors of roses that he fully realized the boy’s beauty, and felt the uncomfortable rock of a elementary school crush settle its weight in his stomach: he saw something new, shiny, and pretty, and he wanted it undeniably bad.

 

“ _-Those holy antique hours are seen,_ ” he continued, noticing that the boy didn’t look away when Matthew noticed his stare, only challenged him by gazing right back, making butterflies fill his stomach at the confidence this new stranger held, and his tongue to change from controlled memory to stuttering on every other word.

 

“ _Without a-all ornament, it self and true,_

_ Making no summer of another's green, _

_ Robbing n-no old to dress his beauty new, _

_ And him as for a m-map doth Nature store, _

_To show false Art what beauty was of yore._ ”

 

Matthew, truly a romantic at heart, couldn’t help but dive head first into the nervous feeling of attraction and curiosity, never having had another catch his attention quite like the boy whose hair looked like tufts of clouds on a sunny afternoon and pale pink lips the shade of the sky turning pink in a sunset during winter. He knew eventually this boy would probably realize that Matthew was nothing more than a shell of laughably bad lies told to himself, dishonest smiles and masked emotions. This stranger would probably join his brother, leaving him to his practiced life of convincing himself he was happy on the sidelines, struggling to hide his sickening loneliness from his twin who would worry if Matthew ever gave him the chance at seeing the truth. But Matthew couldn’t help but hope just a small bit that this boy might be different - might not lose his slight interest in Matthew.

 

Gilbert, already deciding that he wanted more of that blush and a few more stuttered sentences, was barely restraining from whipping around to bombard the boy sitting back down with questions. Gilbert had a secret, one that only a few people knew about, namely his best friend Elizaveta (the bitch had tried to choke it out of him). He had a terrible weakness for all things cute - the sparse amount of people who had entered his room knew all about the little bird sitting like a little yellow ball of fluff on his desk at home, the giant teddy bear on his bed, and the rubber duckies whose only use was to keep Gil company when he bathed, as he had one too many close calls with Gilbird almost drowning. And, yes, Gilbert had named his bird after himself, because he happened to think his name was pretty awesome.

 

The albino was often caught daydreaming, visualising situations that may never occur, and talking about them when interrupted. His current fantasy involved a certain red-hoodie-wearing blondie playing with Gilbird while covered in a fluffy blanket, and God, if Gilbert wasn’t already drooling, he would start soon. Matthew was so cute that he knew that he needed more of him. Once Gilbert decided he wanted something, he got it. He found himself wishing he had transferred to his brother’s school months ago, so he could have had more time to woo the boy behind him.

 

Ludwig had been trying to get Gilbert to move schools for about a year, honestly concerned for the poor quality education his brother had been getting at the school across town. Gilbert was smart enough, just enough so that as long as he reviewed the material at least once he would make an A or B. Ludwig had noticed that his brother was naturally smart a long time ago, and had always wanted what was best for him. Luddy was a type of fill-in parent for Gilbert, as their parents had never taken much interest in their elder child, for some reason focusing most of their attention on the blonde sibling.

 

The way their parents had treated Gilbert had led to many years of thinking there was something extremely wrong with him. Gilbert had thought that because of his skin, his eyes, his hair - these were the reasons their parents ignored him. The albino would almost prefer if they hated him, because the apathy hurt much more than a slap in the face or yelling ever could.

 

Yet, something had happened as Gilbert entered his teenage years. Suddenly Gilbert was always saying he was ‘awesome,’ using the adjective for almost everything. While this annoyed Ludwig, he also noticed his older brother smiling more often, almost all the time, even as he sat at the dinner table and their parents blatantly ignored him and acted like he didn’t exist. While questions about his future and concern and love were poured all over Ludwig, his brother would just eat and smile to himself, sometimes laughing a little under his breath.

 

When Ludwig turned 13 in his eighth grade year, it was finally Gilbert’s turn to play parent. The blonde had been friends with a little Italian boy since he had entered preschool, a boy named Feliciano who followed Ludwig like it was his religion, and came over all the time to cook for the brothers. Gilbert had especially not minded when Feli was there: good food, a sweet smile, and when he fell asleep on their couch or in Luddy’s bed, he had one of the cutest baby faces known to man. 

 

Gilbert, being almost two years older, had a little more experience in life and a more solid grasp on his identity. So Ludwig had slipped into his room one night about a month after his birthday and sat on Gilbert’s bed, and as the older brother blinked awake, he was greeted with the sight of his younger sibling crying for the first time since he was four years old.

So Gilbert had hugged him, and rocked back and forth with him, and eventually Ludwig had mumbled out all the things pent up inside about how Feliciano’s smile gave his stomach these little tingles and when they hugged he lost his breath, and all of the nights his chest ached because he didn’t understand. Gilbert helped him understand, told him about his love for long eyelashes and soft hands while he also loved strong shoulders and big hands, and that it was okay.

 

A week later they came out to their parents at the same time.

 

Gilbert was slightly disappointed that not even this could get their attention, but smiled widely anyway as they embraced Ludwig and told him it didn’t matter who he loved. Ludwig would never get the exact expression on Gilbert’s face as he had opened his eyes out of his head. Looking at his brother over his mother’s shoulder, for the briefest moment he thought he saw a tear trailing down that pale cheek - but then he blinked his blue eyes, and the tear had disappeared, and all Ludwig saw was a happy yet somehow pained smile.

 

It had been very obvious to Ludwig at that time that his older brother could handle a lot, but sometimes it became a little too much. So later that night, Ludwig had made sure to go to Gilbert’s room and tell him he was proud of him, and that he loved him, and this time Gilbert didn’t hide his tears.

 

Gilbert was by no means a very selfless person, his parents ignoring him had left him to find the one person he could always rely on to love him: himself. So yes, Gilbert was self-centered, and yes, Gilbert was cocky, but he did love the people close to him. He watched over the three most important people in his life like a hawk: Ludwig, Elizaveta, and Roderich were his family. Gilbert did have other friends, but he wasn’t a very trusting person and found it hard to rely on people who hadn’t seen him and been there for him at his worst. This was his first time being separated from Elizaveta since first grade, when they were placed in different classes. It was also the first time since he had been separated from Roderich since he had met him in seventh grade.

 

Moving to Ludwig’s school was going to be a bit hard, but Elizaveta had said some bullshit about making new friends here and new opportunities. Gilbert smiled to himself as the teacher droned on, pulling a piece of paper out of his binder and folding it in half, scrawling a sentence out across the top.

 

_ I’m new, and you seem to have your shit together. Mind helping me out sometime to catch up? _

 

Gilbert casually slid the note onto the desk behind him under his arm, and heard the sound of a puff of air being released, along with nails lightly scraping against the fake wood of the desk as the paper was picked up and unfolded. There was a light, breathy laugh and the sound of pencil scratching against paper before the page slid back over Gilbert’s shoulder.

 

_ Sure. I’m Matthew, by the way. _

 

Gilbert smirked as he wrote a response and slid it back again.

 

G:  _ I know that doofus. The teacher was yelling for you for five minutes before I woke you up. (I’m Gilbert) _

 

And so the note was passed back and forth, almost filling up the page.

 

M:  _ Sorry about that. Pretty sure I’m the only one who does shit in here _

 

G:  _ Not for long. I actually care about my grades _

 

M:  _ A miracle, truly. (The teacher will probably notice us passing this back and forth in a minute and read it out loud, btw) _

 

G:  _ I’ll give you a blowjob for ten bucks _

 

M:  _ Too expensive. How about five bucks and I do your homework _

 

G:  _ My homework? That’s like three blowjobs tho _

 

“Mr. Jones, Mr. Bell-Bill- Mr. Gilbert, you seem to be having a very important conversation. You wouldn’t mind if I shared with the class, would you?” the teacher snapped, coming towards them.

 

Matthew gave Gilbert the  _ told you so _ look and Gilbert only gave a sharp grin back. He snatched the paper off of the blonde’s desk, and gave it to the teacher with a flourish. “Not at all ma’am. Only discussing studying together.”

 

Matthew snickered, bending over in his desk to muffle the sound in his arms as the teacher once again stood in front of the class to read the note.

 

Nobody reacted to anything on the paper until she finally began reading the second half of the note.

 

“...The teacher will probably notice us passing this back and forth and read it out loud in a minute, B-T-W,” and then a slight pause before the teacher’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “I’ll give you a- oh, God. You children love to torture me. Matthew, what…?” she looked up, a slightly disappointed look on her face.

 

“Matthew, you were supposed to be the  _ good twin _ , why do you have to antagonize me this way?” she asked, and received only a sheepish shrug from Matthew before looking back down at the note with determination on her face. Gilbert quirked an eyebrow at the word ‘twin,’ but didn’t interrupt.

 

“I’ll give you a blowjob for ten bucks,” the teacher blurted, and the whole class burst out laughing as she turned red in the face and crumpled the paper up. “I hate each and every one of you with a burning rage you will never understand,” she yelled. “Mr. Jones, you and Mr. Beelshift-Billshen- you and Gilbert are off the hook, since it’s a first offence for both of you.” She waved a hand dismissively at the class as she sat back down, ignoring the sound of the students laughing and someone saying they got it on video. “Do whatever you want. I can’t deal with you people today.”

 

Matthew finally released his face from where it had been buried in his arms, looking up at Gilbert with eyes full of mirth. He had never did something like that before, not wanting to cause anyone any trouble if he could help it, but maybe a little fun wasn’t so bad every once in awhile.

 

Gilbert twisted around completely in his seat, not even bothering to look at the rest of the class. “So, you have a twin? That’s pretty cool.”

 

Matthew’s smile immediately lost a little of its brightness as he straightened up, laying his palms flat on the surface of the desk before him. “Yeah, his name is Alfred. You’ll probably meet him at some point today. You guys would probably make really good friends, as far as I can tell.”

 

Gilbert bounced a little on his seat, moving his legs to straddle the chair. “I have a little brother who goes here, he’s in the grade below us. Does Ludwig Beilschmidt ring any bells?”

 

Matthew thought for a moment before he recognized the name. He tapped his fingers on his desk as he realized he was friends with Alfred too. “Yeah, Feli’s boyfriend, right? They’re really cute together. They’re friends with Alfred, always cuddled up on the couch when he and his friends have their movie nights every other weekend.”

 

Gilbert perked up when he started talking about his brother and his boyfriend, so he kept talking. “I’ve talked to Feli more than I have Ludwig, but they’re both really nice. When Al can convince me to cook for them, they both try to help out. Feliciano usually helps me cook and Ludwig usually helps with cleaning up - well, as long as he can before Feli drags him into the living room with everyone else.”

 

By this point, Gilbert was beaming, and Matthew gave a small smile back as he felt his cheeks bloom a dark red at how handsome he was. It was unusual for people to give him their full attention, so the blonde wasn’t sure how he should react to this, or if he was even going about it the right way.

 

But then Gilbert’s smile faltered a little as he thought back over everything Matthew had said, and his gaze turned more confused than happy. “Don’t you ever go with them?”

 

Matthew darted his eyes to the side, trying to think of a way to put it that wouldn’t sound so utterly pitiful, and felt a pit open at the bottom of his stomach and release a dull ache at the thought of the few times he had tried to work his way into Alfred’s friends’ little gatherings. Of course, it was his house, so he could walk in any time he wanted, but nobody really talked to him. When he attempted to force his way into the conversation, he was either ignored or talked over.

 

“I, uh,” Matthew hesitated, “well, Alfred has a lot of friends, and I usually just hang out with our cousins-”

 

The bell rang, surprising Gilbert with its sudden shrill noise. Matthew sighed in relief, and before Gilbert had time to push the subject, he asked, “Do you know how to get to your next class?”

 

It seemed he had distracted the albino well enough, as he stood up and grabbed his backpack, then pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. “Yeah, no, I don’t,” he said, handing it to Matthew.

 

Scanning his eyes over it, the lavender eyed boy nodded, and handed it back. “I think your next class is with Kiku and Antonio,” Matthew mumbled, leading Gilbert from the English classroom. “We have a class together fourth block, and then we have the same lunch.” he said, navigating the crowded hallways with ease and glancing back every few seconds to make sure Gilbert was keeping up.

 

A mass of eyes were attracted to Gilbert’s appearance, not only for his albinism but also for the fact that he was new and attractive. Matthew noticed that Gilbert wasn’t even paying attention, instead watching the blonde and listening to everything he said.

 

Matthew was tired of blushing today.

 

As they reached Gilbert’s next class, Matthew walked in and tapped a short Asian who was facing the other way’s shoulder.  It took more than one try, and when the boy turned, he did not immediately look at Matthew, his eyes instead falling on the albino first in confusion before giving a small jump of surprise and a tiny smile to Matthew. Gilbert tilted his head slightly, already beginning to notice a pattern of people not paying attention to Matthew, but decided to leave it alone for now.

 

“Matthew,” the boy said softly, brown eyes giving a somewhat guilty look to the blonde, “what can I help you with?”

 

Matthew introduced Gilbert, explained his situation quickly, and then gave Gilbert a warm smile as he passed to leave the classroom again. Gilbert almost let him go, before he caught his wrist and turned him back around. Matthew looked surprised, to say the least, and his cheeks once again turned a cute shade of pink that the albino was quickly getting addicted to. 

 

“Sit with me at lunch?” Gilbert asked, sounding hopeful.

 

Matthew’s face once again cracked a smile, one that made Gilbert wish they knew each other better so he had an excuse to ruffle his hair or kiss him on the cheek.

 

“Definitely,” Matthew said, before waving and exiting to go to his own class. Gilbert grinned as he sat behind the boy named Kiku, and waited patiently for class to start. Kiku looked somewhat confused but happy, and decided not to comment as the teacher stood from behind his desk.


	2. When beauty liv'd and died as flowers do now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert spun around, and almost got excited before realizing that it may be the same face, but the eyes, clothes, and voice were very off.
> 
> He looked Alfred up and down and came to the conclusion quickly that while both twins were attractive, Alfred was more of a jock and Matthew was a soft, cuddly teddy bear. (Gilbert happened to prefer the cuddly type.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the person who commented and said they appreciated me not turning Matthew into a stuttering mess: it begins. However, this is more the both of them being awkward and angsty as hell opposed to Matthew not having any confidence. (The plan is for them to grow as the fic goes on, so it may take a while for Mattie to hit his confidence. Oops.)
> 
> Enjoy, and please please please comment and leave kudos if you enjoy it (and constructive criticism is also welcome, just don't be a dick). Thank you!




 

As his class came to an end, Gilbert leaned forward to ask the boy in front of him some questions. “So, are you friends with Matthew? Or do you guys just know each other?”

 

Kiku looked a little taken back by the question, and was quiet for a moment. “Well, his brother and I are very good friends,” he said, and then paused as he thought about it, “I suppose you could say we are acquaintances. I do not talk to him very often, if I am being honest. We used to be in an academic club together, and we were partners for a project in middle school, but other than that I have not had many opportunities to speak with him.”

 

Gilbert felt a hand tap his shoulder, and turned to see a tan boy with brown hair and sparkling green eyes smiling widely at him. “Hola, Gilbert! I’m Antonio, Lovi’s boyfriend. I saw you come in with Alfred’s brother, the sweet one! Have people been nice to you so far?”

 

Gilbert blinked, and a hand was outstretched to him. He shook it and smiled back. “Yeah, I remember Feli talking about you once or twice. Matthew was the only one I really talked to before this, and he was great! He said you and Kiku here wouldn’t mind helping me get to my next class?”

 

Kiku turned around, looking a little troubled, but leaving the two to their conversation.

 

“Not at all, amigo! Just let me see your schedule and we can head there together. Oh, but I might have to stop by my locker first, and we might run into the evil Vargas twin, just so you know.” Antonio said lightly, winking jokingly before taking the schedule from Gilbert as he held it out.

 

“That’s fine. How is Feli anyway? I haven’t seen him much since this school year started.” Gilbert asked, taking his schedule back and stuffing it into his pocket. Antonio smiled fondly, turning as the bell rang. The smile showed just how much Antonio cared for the brothers, and made Gilbert jealous. The albino wanted to look like that about someone special.

 

“Feliciano is fine. Spends more time than ever with Ludwig, because it seems they finally discovered the magic world of sex, and they think Lovi and I can’t hear them through the wall.” Antonio said with a chuckle.

 

Gilbert smirked. “About fucking time. It’s been, what, two years since they became official?” He paused for a moment, before looking at Antonio. “They know how to do it correctly, right?”

 

Antonio shrugged, wearing a smirk almost identical to his. “Not sure, but Feli’s pretty loud, so I assume it’s good. I stocked his bedstand with lube and condoms as soon as they did it the first time, and I thought they would get embarrassed, but they just went at it more. I considered that mission a success.”

 

Gilbert looked at Antonio in awe, “You are my favorite person right now. I think we’re going to  be very good friends, Toni.”

 

Toni was about to say something, when a loud Italian started cussing. “You bastard, you’re slower than usual today! Hurry the fuck up!” Lovino yelled down the hallway. Antonio immediately turned to his boyfriend, a bright smile lighting up his face.

 

As they approached, Antonio threw his arms around Lovino’s waist and pulled their bodies against each other. “Sorry, Lovi, I was showing Ludwig’s older brother around,” he said, and then smashed their lips together. Lovino begrudgingly kissed back, and soon Gilbert felt dirty looking at them.

 

Upon averting his eyes, he started searching the hallway for any more familiar faces. He caught a slight glimpse of a wayward curl, and then Matthew’s face as he walked to class. Gilbert frowned, watching as his shoulders slumped and his eyes stayed on the ground, not even glancing up to look where he was going. The blonde looked somehow...less alive, like he was barely even conscious of what was going on. Gilbert thought about calling out to him, but realized it probably wasn’t a good idea since Matthew was on the other end of the hall.

 

Gilbert watched him all the way until he turned the corner, and strode out of his sight. He turned back to see Lovino fighting off a growing onslaught of kisses from Antonio, who seemed determined to get his lips on every inch of his boyfriend’s face he could before his next class.

 

“Stop it, asshole! I need to go to class!” Lovino snapped, finally shoving his Spanish lover away from himself. Antonio pouted, reaching for his waist again, but then Lovino gave him a sharp glare that could scare the shit out of anyone, even the awesome Gilbert.

 

“If I’m late again, you won’t get any form of sexual interaction for a month,” he threatened. Antonio immediately backed up, and instead started spinning the combination on a locker next to Lovino.

 

The Italian just made a ‘tch’ noise and walked away, and Antonio was smiling all the while, sneaking glances at his boyfriend as he strutted away. He had plenty of reason to stare, as Lovino was wearing a pair of tight black skinny jeans with a red blazer that didn’t cover any of his better assets. Gilbert only looked for a second, because that was not only someone else’s territory, but also territory he definitely did not want to tread on. Lovino was an ass, but Toni seemed just masochistic enough to take the wounding comments as love.

 

Instead, Gilbert found himself thinking about Matthew again, but now thought about what he would say to him at lunch. He already had the excuse of catching up in English, and whatever other class they had together as a reason to go to his house or for Matthew to come to his. Now he just needed to figure out what he liked so he could impress him. Wait, was Matthew even single? What if he already had a relationship?

 

As Antonio dropped him off at his next class, he only briefly stopped to make hand signals at someone in the back of the room before a loud voice was calling out to him.

 

“Hey, new dude!”

 

Gilbert spun around, and almost got excited before realizing that it may be the same face, but the eyes, clothes, and voice were very off. His eyes widened in realization as he looked the blonde up and down, taking in the cowlick in his shorter hair, the bomber jacket, cornflower blue eyes and the bright grin being directed at him.

 

“Toni says you’re cool, so come sit with us!” he shouted, and pulled out a chair beside him. As Gilbert approached, he seemed to get even more excited. “I’m Alfred!”

 

Gilbert nodded as he sat down. He looked Alfred up and down and came to the conclusion quickly that while both twins were attractive, Alfred was more of a jock and Matthew was a soft, cuddly teddy bear. (Gilbert happened to prefer the cuddly type.)

 

“I’m Gilbert,” he said, offering his hand, “Matthew said he had a twin, but I didn’t think you two would be so different.”

 

Alfred shook his hand quickly and leaned in closer to talk to Gilbert a bit less loudly. “You met Mattie? That’s great! He doesn’t talk to a lot of people, so you must be special!”

 

A boy popped his head out from the other side of Alfred, his blonde hair tied up in a bun and blue eyes lighting up at the mention of Matthew. “ _ Mon charmante Mattieu?  _ It’s been so long since he has talked to me, which is sad, because he is the only one who can converse with me in French.”

 

Alfred laughed, slinging an arm over the boy’s shoulder and pulling him closer. “Francis, he’s probably not going to talk to you again until you apologize for hitting on him a couple weeks ago.”

 

Gilbert tensed up at this. Did that mean this French guy wanted to date Matthew?

 

Francis puffed his cheeks slightly and removed Alfred’s arm. “I was just kidding, he should know that. We are too closely related for me to actually do anything. Besides, I was only teasing him. He shouldn’t stand around by himself so often, perhaps I taught him a lesson about predators.”

 

Gilbert relaxed slightly, but still eyed the French guy. They may be related, but Gilbert had already set his sights on the little lavender-eyed boy and was determined to get him.

 

Alfred laughed, and leaned back over to talk to Gilbert. “Anyway, we don’t really do anything in this class, so don’t worry about it. This is kind of a free period. My boyfriend, my cousin Christian, and Ivan all had some project due in the class before this, so they’re in the library until the end of the period, and Mathias and Lukas are always late for reasons that will be obvious when they get here.”

 

The bell rang, and while people sat down, nobody stopped talking. There was a small office attached to the classroom with the light on but the door and blinds to the observation window shut, so Gilbert never caught sight of the teacher.

 

“So, is lunch right after this? Or do I have to wait much longer?” Gilbert asked curiously, leaning back in his chair. He was actually just waiting to see Matthew again, already anxious to make sure they could hang out soon. He was just so damn cute.

 

Alfred mimicked him, leaning back and almost tipping over his chair as he held his phone in front of his face. “Yeah, dude. You can sit with us, if you want. Our table is always open to new people.” Alfred looked across the room, seemingly in thought, “Though it does fill up pretty quickly. But I’ll save you a seat!”

 

“No need,” Gilbert told him, “Matthew already said he would sit with me. Maybe I’ll sit with you guys tomorrow.”

 

Gilbert didn’t realize he had said something out of the ordinary until Alfred’s chair went level again and his phone crashed to the floor, and Francis whipped his head around so fast a few golden strands came loose from his bun. They both leaned slightly toward Gilbert, and he leaned back a little.

 

“What?” he asked cautiously.

 

“Matthew hasn’t sat in the cafeteria since freshman year. Are you sure he agreed, or did you hear him wrong?” Francis questioned, positive the new guy had made a mistake.

 

Gilbert recalled the cute smile he had received and the way Matthew’s soft pink lips had shaped the word “ _ Definitely _ .” He remembered the bolt of heat down the back of his neck, and the urge to kiss him on the cheek.

 

Gilbert echoed the memory, “Definitely. I mean, I heard him right, he said definitely.” He flushed slightly before gaining control over his thoughts and fighting it back down.

 

Alfred gave a small, disbelieving laugh. He turned to his cousin, voice somewhat sad, “The new guy who’s been here for a few hours just accomplished what I’ve been trying to do since our third week of high school.”

 

“ _ Mon dieu, _ ” Francis breathed, tucking his loose tresses behind his ears.

 

“Why hasn’t he sat in there? Do people pick on him?” Gilbert asked lightly.

 

Alfred just shook his head, and waved off Gilbert’s question. “Nothing like that, not really. Matthew is just a little too...how should I put it. He’s very self-conscious, and we-” Alfred seemed to actually think before he corrected his statement, “-he, especially, went through some tough stuff right as we came into high school. You don’t need to worry about it.”

 

So Gilbert decided to shrug it off. A couple minutes of silence later, and two blonde boys came walking into the classroom. One had some type of cross barrette in his hair, and a vacant expression with a walk that told those around him not to mess with him. The other had spiky hair and a bounce in his step as he walked behind the other one, very closely, dopey expression in place. Upon closer inspection, Gilbert could tell these must be the two Alfred had talked about: their clothes were slightly wrinkled, their lips were a shade darker than they should have been, and the shorter one had his collar pulled up, but not high enough to hide the dark splotches and pink bite marks littering his neck. The taller one didn’t even try to hide his, the colors standing out as they dotted all the way from the visible crest of his collarbone to behind his ear.

 

They sat down in front of Alfred and Gilbert, and upon introduction, they were indeed Mathias and Lukas. Lukas reached up and started fiddling with his hair piece, and started talking as he pulled it out, causing half of his hair to fall and curtain the previously exposed side of his head as he brushed his fingers through the creased blonde strands. “Alfred, did everyone finally get tired of your shit? Or did they just have somewhere else to be?”

 

Alfred smiled, not-so-sneakily raising his phone to take a snapchat of Lukas fiddling with his loose hair, and replied as he sent it to someone in his snapchat contacts under the name “Naughty Witch <3”. Gilbert regretted looking at the screen. “Ah, they’re all tired of my shit. But they actually had a project.”

 

Lukas tried to fasten the clip back in, but after he failed twice, Mathias leaned across the aisle with a small pout on his lips and a focused look in his eyes to take the cross shaped accessory from Lukas. “Not like Arthur can really stay away too long,” Mathias mumbled, pulling his boyfriend’s hair back and snapping the clip into its past perfect placement, “not when you throw a fit whenever you’re without him for more than an hour.” He shot a teasing smile at Alfred while the twin pouted at him like a child.

 

“You’re making me look bad in front of the new kid,” Alfred complained, jerking a thumb at Gilbert.

 

Lukas made a quiet noise of disapproval, patting the side of his head to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be. The door opened behind him as he replied disdainfully, “You do that on your own, Alfred. You are the evil twin, and you’re also a-”

 

“-complete and utter twat,” a new voice finished for him, a thick English accent lingering on every word. Gilbert looked up to see a small boy with impressive eyebrows glaring at Alfred, who was only grinning like he had just won the lottery. Alfred’s arms spread wide, almost whacking the albino in the head, because the aisle wasn’t that wide and Alfred was kind of huge, long arms and legs along with his muscle shirt that obviously showed off his toned body. He probably played a sport or something.

 

“Babe, what took you so long?” Alfred asked, setting his feet flat on the ground and twisting sideways in his seat to use his legs to block the English boy from walking farther down the aisle between the desks.

 

“Don’t call me babe,  _ idiot _ ,” the boy snapped, flicking Alfred on the nose. Alfred only laughed, pulling the smaller one into his lap (even as he struggled to escape).

 

“Arthur, don’t act like you don’t like it!” Alfred said, voice full of joy as he nuzzled into the boy’s neck. Arthur made a squawking noise, trying to wiggle out of his boyfriend’s muscular arms. Gilbert briefly noticed Mathias and Lukas had completely tuned the other two out, mumbling to themselves. There were two other guys standing near the door to the classroom, one looking on and laughing with a bandage across his nose, and the other talking into a cell phone with his face turned into the corner, a few fingers twisting the fringe on his scarf that sat on his broad shoulders.

 

The one who had been laughing looked over and locked his eyes on Gilbert, a mischievous smirk spreading across his face as he came over to introduce himself. “You must be who that asshole was sending Arthur snapchats of the whole time we were trying to work on our project,” the guy said, giving him a playful smack on the shoulder, “I’m Christian, the asshole’s cousin.”

 

The albino smiled back, “I’m Gilbert. I kind of got thrown in with all of Alfred’s friends since I met Matthew this morning.”

 

Christian’s eyes twinkled as he heard the other twin’s name. “Ah, I see you’ve already met my favorite twin, then,” he replied with a wink, “much cooler than Alfred, I can assure you. He seems quiet now, but the more comfortable he gets around you, the crazier he gets.”

 

Alfred piped up, “Mattie is not cooler than me! He doesn’t even play football!”

 

“That may be true, but he does play hockey, and he can kick your ass. If you think he didn’t tell anyone about the ice shower incident, you would be very wrong,” Christian retorted, sitting in the chair beside Gilbert. Francis seemed to join the conversation again as Alfred’s face paled.

 

“Oui, Alfred, Chris and I know all about that. Mathieu spared nothing.” Francis said with a laugh. “Tell me, what does it feel like to have an ice pack in-”

 

Alfred cut him off, face turning a shade of red that could rival Gilbert’s irises. “Shut up! I thought he promised to never talk about that!”

 

“You should know Franny and I are exempt from that by now,” Christian stated, throwing a tiny paper ball at Alfred’s head. “And let your poor boyfriend go. You’re smothering him, mate.”

 

Alfred looked down and was surprised to see Arthur struggling to breathe from how tight his arm had curled around the smaller boy. He released the English boy immediately, apologizing and planting kisses on his cheek. The rest of the period carried on like that, casual banter that occasionally involved Matthew, but only with either of the three relatives’ input. The other three boys didn’t have much if anything to say in terms of the other twin.

 

When the bell rang, Gilbert jumped again. For some reason the bell was much more high pitched and loud at this school than his old one, and he had been lost in an argument about second languages with Francis and Mathias. They all stood, and Alfred threw a hand on Gilbert’s shoulder. Red eyes gave him a questioning glance, but Alfred only smiled as he slid an arm over a grumbling Arthur’s shoulders.

 

“If you’re with me, it’ll be easier to find Matt, and besides, you guys can just sit with us today.” Alfred offered.

 

Gilbert nodded in understanding and let Alfred lead him to the lunchroom, surrounded by the group of people they had been with. People slowly attached to Alfred’s group, including Antonio, Kiku, and a bouncing Feliciano who waved enthusiastically when he caught Gilbert’s eye but continued to listen to whatever Francis was telling him with large hand gestures.

 

As they went into the lunchroom, he could already tell which table was Alfred’s: there were three tables running straight down the left side of the room that remained empty, despite how crowded the other tables were. It was kind of funny, actually. To Gilbert it seemed just like any cliché book where the popular kids had a table reserved. Alfred led him straight to the middle of the three, and sat him a few seats from the middle as the rest of his group settled around them, more people he had and hadn’t met yet slowly filling in the seats.

 

“Mattie packs his lunch every day, since he doesn’t usually come in here,” Alfred told him, dropping his bag behind the seat one over from Gilbert, obviously leaving a blank space for his twin. “I’m gonna go ahead and buy your lunch today as a welcome to our school gift, so you just stay here. Matthew’s class should let out in a minute, I think.”

 

With that, Alfred turned and left him, and Christian plopped into the seat on Gilbert’s other side. He pulled a pudding cup out of his bag and started downing it quickly, and Gilbert decided to look the other way because Christian had a pudding mustache going on that he didn’t seem to want to get rid of anytime soon. Gilbert’s eyes landed on Feli as he let out a loud squeak, and then uncontrolled giggles as the hands of the albino’s little brother attacked his boyfriend’s sides.

 

Gilbert smiled at the sight. It was nice to see them together like this, nice to see Ludwig happy in general. Feli leaned back into the blonde’s arms and said something with a bright smile, waving a hand flippantly in Gilbert’s direction and laughing as Ludwig’s eyes got a little wider before he relaxed and looked up at his older brother. Lud patted his boyfriend’s shoulder and kissed him on the cheek (earning him another giggle) before heading over to talk to Gilbert.

“You seem to have found friends very quickly,” Ludwig said as he approached, “What will Elizaveta say? You were complaining so much last week.”

 

Gilbert felt a grin spread over his face as he fluttered his nearly translucent eyelashes in a joking manner. “Oh, Luddy, I have no idea what you mean.” Ludwig rolled his eyes, backhanding his big brother’s shoulder. He never let Gilbert have any fun.

 

“You know what I mean. You were throwing a bitch fit yesterday, what happened?” he deadpanned, crossing his arms over his wide chest. Christian made a loud choking noise as he spit some of his pudding back into his cup. The brothers simultaneously wrinkled their noses in disgust - if there was one thing they had in common, it was their neat freak habits.

 

“Dude, what the fuck?” the albino asked, smacking the brown haired teen on the back to help him breathe. Christian only shook his head for a moment, before looking towards the cafeteria doors and tilting his head in that direction. They looked to see Matthew walking with his head down towards the table, wavy hair falling across his face as he avoided the few sets of eyes that had locked on him.

 

“I can’t believe you actually got him to come in here,” Christian spluttered. Gilbert turned back to his younger sibling with a smirk, remembering his question.

 

“I found a reason to not be pissed anymore. Now go back to your Italian boy toy so I can woo the cutie from English.”

 

Gilbert made a shooing motion to a very confused Ludwig, who slowly walked back to the other table. The albino thought everything was going well until a hand clamped down on his shoulder and he turned to Christian to see a rather dangerous smirk on his face that matched the sharp look in his eyes. His teeth looked almost pointy to Gilbert, like a crocodile that had spotted its prey. It shouldn’t have been that scary, especially since he still had a smudge of chocolate pudding on the corner of his mouth, but it inspired a feeling akin to terror in the pale boy’s bones.

 

“‘Woo the cutie,’ eh? That wouldn’t happen to be my precious little cousin, would it, mate?” he asked, eyes turning a shade darker with some kind of threat in them that Gilbert couldn’t identify. His mouth opened and closed like a fish, failing to think of a proper response, but a softer voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

“Chris, really? Can’t you use a spoon?” Matthew complained, walking straight up to them and ignoring the tension crackling like electricity between the two. Gilbert watched in amazement as Christian went from deadly and dangerous to doe-eyed innocence as Matthew dropped his bag in the empty chair, obviously realizing it was left open for him.

 

“Aw, Mattie, you know how hungry I get,” the green-eyed boy whined, but picked up a napkin to clean himself off nonetheless. Matthew watched and nodded in approval when all the chocolate had successfully disappeared. Gilbert glanced between the two with amusement in his eyes, as Christian was now acting like a giant child, throwing the napkin on the table. “You’re not my mother.”

 

Matthew just rolled his eyes as he sat next to Gilbert, and as he took in the albino boy’s presence, he seemed to lose what little bit of fire he had had talking to Christian. A light blush stained his cheeks as he pulled a sandwich out of his lunch bag. Gilbert felt himself turn a similar shade of red as he leaned in to talk to Matthew only, wanting to exclude Christian out of spite.

 

“Your brother and his friends are nice. Thanks for helping me out,” Gilbert said quietly, smiling at Matthew, “you’re awesome.”

 

Matthew’s blush increased tenfold as he shakily unwrapped his food. The blonde boy was struggling to come up with a proper response that wouldn’t come out in a stuttered mess, but only grew more flustered as that crimson gaze focused on him, awaiting a response patiently.

 

Taking a deep breath, Matthew attempted to give the attractive boy beside him an eloquent reply. “I-I, uhm, you’re w-wel-”

 

“-Mattie! You actually came!” Alfred interrupted, a huge grin on his face as his brother turned to him. Matthew offered him an awkward smile and looked back down as his twin’s arm reached between him and the new kid to drop a full lunch tray down.

 

“Welcome to Axis High, home of the shittiest meals known to man,” Alfred stated with a flourish of his now empty hand. Gilbert laughed slightly, but completely ignored Alfred’s antics in favor of getting a full sentence out of the cutie next to him.

 

“You were saying, Mattie?” Gilbert asked casually, sliding his tray back in front of himself. Matthew’s eyes widened a bit when Gil acknowledged him again, but the surprised expression gave way to a heartfelt smile and warm eyes looking at what he might dare to call his new friend.

 

_ Friend, _ Matthew thought with a nervous excitement buzzing under his skin, raising the hairs on the back of his neck and putting just a little more feeling into his fingertips,  _ Gilbert wants to be my friend, right? _

 

Gilbert took one look at the dreamy expression on the lavender eyed boy’s face and quickly turned away, trying to hide the stars he was sure were in his eyes. Could this boy possibly get any cuter? The answer was clear already to the albino: this might possibly be the most adorable person on Earth. Matthew cleared his throat, and Gil looked back to see a rather inviting look in those strange purple eyes as he fiddled with the torn bread crust from his sandwich.

 

“You’re welcome,” Matthew said, surprisingly without stuttering, “and just so you know, you can come over to my house whenever it’s good for you to study and all that. Just give me some warning beforehand, and we can do it anytime.” He finished with a flippant wave of his hand. He had, apparently, not realized just how much of a twelve-year-old Gilbert was on the inside.

 

“‘Do it anytime,’ huh? You must have a pretty big crush on me to ask me to sleep with you when we barely know each other, Mattie.” Gilbert replied, nudging the blonde’s leg under the table as he started to splutter. The albino threw in a wink, unable to resist teasing him. “You’re pretty bold. I like it.”

 

Matthew simply nudged Gilbert’s leg back a little harder than intended, and looked back to his lunch. Alfred leaned in closer to his brother, and reached a hand into his lunch bag to pull out a pack of fruit snacks before throwing an arm around his brother’s shoulders as he began unwrapping them. He tilted his head so that he was whispering directly into Matthew’s ear in a way that he assumed was inconspicuous, but was of course obvious to everyone within a ten foot radius.

 

“So, like, what did he have to do to get you in here? Because I’ll do it every day if you’ll sit with us,” Alfred questioned in a normal tone of voice, which was about as close to whispering as he got.

 

Gilbert looked over curiously, but didn’t comment as Matthew tried to shove his brother away and take back his snacks. Alfred resisted, curling his arm tighter around his twin until it was a chokehold, casually continuing to eat his stolen snacks. “All he did was ask nicely, and plus he’s new! I couldn’t exactly say no!” Matthew whined dramatically, worming his hands under his brother’s arm to pry it off. “And give my food back!”

 

Gilbert butted in, pouting at the (seemingly) smaller twin. “You only sat with me because I’m new? I thought we had something special, Mattie,” Gilbert teased. Matthew’s eyes widened and he shook his head, pushing his brother off of himself.

 

“ _ Non _ , I did it because I want to be your friend!” Matthew exclaimed, not noticing his slip into French. Gilbert’s face broke out into a grin at the cute reaction, reaching over to snatch his stolen food away from Alfred and handing back to Matthew, who smirked at a confused Alfred. 

 

“I’m just messing with you, Matthew. But if you want to be my friend, you better be prepared to deal with my constant need for attention. I’m high-maintenance.” Gilbert warned in a teasing tone, only halfway joking and sneaking a hand into the fruit snack bag to steal one. Matthew let him, and for the first time Gilbert saw the ecstatic grin Matthew would get when someone said everything he wanted to hear.

 

“I think I can handle it. If I can put up with Al, Francis, and Chris, I can put up with you just as easy.” Matthew stated, confident in his ability to hold his own against immature teenage boys. Christian leaned out from the other side of Gilbert, letting out an indignant noise. 

 

“I’m not that bad, Matt. At least I don’t try making out with you every time we get a little tipsy!” Christian defended himself, pointing an accusing finger in the direction of the other cousin, still carrying on some conversation with Feliciano that the little Italian was listening intently to but had Ludwig looking like he was about to burst into flames from embarrassment.

 

Matthew looked dejectedly in the general direction of his only close French-speaking relative, opening his mouth to argue but closing it again when no good arguments could be thought of. Matthew nodded solemnly, wavy hair bouncing lightly with the motion.

 

With a sigh, he turned back to Christian. “Yeah, you’re right. You can’t get much worse than drunk Francis. He’s no fun when he’s inebriated.”

 

Gilbert watched the exchange, or more Matthew’s side of it. The way his words came so easily when talking to his family and the way he could practically change personalities when his conversation partner wasn’t related to him. Gilbert, tired of being ignored, casually leaned an elbow on the table to cut Christian off and block Matthew’s line of sight with a way more awesome view. Matthew raised an eyebrow, but said nothing even as Christian let out an annoyed grunt.

 

“So, if we’re gonna have a lot of these study sessions, I need your number so I can ‘warn you’ or whatever.” Gilbert interjected in a way that, in his mind, was smooth. Matthew just let out a nervous little giggle that had Gilbert blushing a little as he pulled his phone from his back pocket to hand it to Matthew.

 

Christian mumbled something along the lines of “God,  _ get a room _ ,” that went ignored by both blushing idiots as they traded phone numbers and quick glances.

  
  



	3. Before these bastard signs of fair were born

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He who smiles least smiles best,” Gilbert quoted, not realizing he had spoken aloud until Matthew’s smile dropped and he looked away. He didn’t look back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi! Quick little things you should know:  
> * = I'm not sure if this is grammatically correct. For some reason I worded it this way, and it feels worse to change it, so I left it. Tell me if I'm completely wrong, please.
> 
> Also, I hate when people put in stuff in other languages but save their translations for the end of chapter notes, so I put them in parentheses () after each little foreign bit. (P.S. I do not know French, sadly, so all of this was done with google translate, and came out kind of awkward and not saying exactly what I wanted. If someone does know French and is willing to correct/help me, please do.)
> 
> This chapter moves a little faster than I would have liked, but I can't bring myself to change anything, so enjoy!

The two days after that were filled with a very captivated Gilbert and an extremely cheerful Matthew. The two boys seemed to instantly connect on most subjects, even if they didn’t have a lot in common. Matthew loved to have someone to talk to besides his relatives, and such an attractive person to boot. As invisible as he may be, Matthew knew a jealous glare when he saw one, and he had received quite a few since befriending the albino boy.

 

Gilbert was completely enchanted by Matthew: the way he would push up his glasses and blush when someone complimented him, the scattering of freckles across his nose, and the little snorts Gilbert could sometimes pull out when he got the blonde to  _ really  _ laugh. All of these things had Gilbert wrapped around his new friend’s little finger, ready to do a backflip to make Matthew smile. Matthew adjusted quickly to all of Gilbert’s quirks, too, including his constant demand for attention and craving for physical affection. As soon as Matthew had given Gilbert permission to touch him, there was no stopping the hello and goodbye hugs, the arm that found a permanent residence over his shoulder, or the ruffle of his hair whenever he made Gilbert laugh (which was often).

 

On Friday, Gilbert found himself going to the twins’ house - but not in quite as small a group as first expected. At first it seemed like he was the only one going, as he and Matthew had went to the parking lot to catch a ride in Alfred’s truck, but it soon became very clear that Friday was something special in Alfred’s friend group.

 

The first people Gilbert *sighted leaning against Alfred’s truck were Christian and Mathias, arguing over something he didn’t care to listen to. Next was Arthur, sitting in the seat of the truck with a grumpy expression while Alfred stood in the open door between his legs trying to coax a smile on the smaller male’s face by peppering his hands with kisses and an apologetic expression. Then there was Feliciano, Kiku, and a hyper boy that Gilbert had come to know was named Tino, and was more or less always in some form of nervous fit, while his boyfriend Berwald leaned against the tailgate glaring at anyone who came too close.

 

All of them seemed to be talking in individual groups and across to each other, mixing into multiple conversations at once. Once arriving, Gilbert also noticed one last person, the tall boy of Russian descent named Ivan that was always on his phone, standing off to the side texting but looking up every once in a while to give a little input, twiddling with the fringe on his short scarf, today’s design being a black and white checkered material.

 

As they approached, Alfred seemed to be the only one who noticed and began to have a small panic attack. He glanced from a very disgruntled boyfriend to his twin and Gilbert, and then uselessly counted the seating in the cab of his truck. “Shit,” he muttered, surprising his boyfriend enough to look up but not enough to comment.

 

“Alfred, you forgot Gil was coming with us, didn’t you?” Matthew stated in lieu of a greeting. Alfred just scratched the back of his head, looking at the cement. “Thought so.” Matthew let out an almost inaudible sigh, shrugging his red and black backpack higher onto his shoulder, as the weight of the books from all the classes he shared with the albino were starting to take full effect on his muscles. Gilbert shifted his arm to accommodate for his movement, soon settling back into his position of covering Matthew’s entire left side. Arthur started to scold Alfred that he should plan ahead better, which Gilbert and Matthew tuned out.

 

Gilbert noticed the way Matthew’s eyes slid shut and the nearly imperceptible movement of his lips as he started counting to ten, something the red-eyed boy had realized he did every time his brother severely annoyed him. Gilbert put his chin on a red hoodie-covered shoulder, giving a lazy grin. Matthew hardly noticed, as this had become a regular occurrence since he had met Gilbert.

 

Gilbert blew hot air into Matthew’s ear, shocking the blonde into paying attention to him as he swatted at the albino’s face. “Cut it out you dork, I gotta find us a ride,” Matthew whined, dropping his arm back to his side. He glanced around, eyes lingering on Ivan for just a moment before he looked for someone else.

 

Christian suddenly stood in front of them, easily shoving Gilbert away as he slid his arm underneath Gilbert’s and mirrored his previous position on Matthew’s other side. “I’ll give you guys a ride. Alfred, Matthias, and I are having another tournament, so I’m headed to your house too,” Christian offered, making some form of salute to Alfred to let him know, and steered Matthew in the direction of his green jeep. He turned his head as he lead the blonde away, a sly glint in his emerald eyes as he looked at Gilbert.  _ If you want my cousin, you’ve gotta fight for him. _

 

Gilbert frowned but followed, and after they threw their bags into the trunk, he (in a way he deemed stealthy) dragged Matthew into the backseat before either of the other boys could argue. The ride was filled with Christian and Gilbert fighting for the shy blonde’s attention, who somehow didn’t seem to realize what was going on, just staring out the window and giving half-hearted answers to every comment or question.

 

Upon arrival, Gilbert’s jaw almost dropped to the floor as they rolled through the Jones’ Estate gates. There were gardens lining the driveway, filled to the brim with all kinds of flowers and decorations. There were at least four gazebos, a small stream that seemed to run throughout the whole thing, and benches spaced along every visible path before they disappeared into tall hedges. As they neared the actual house (mansion?), Gilbert saw a smaller patch of flowers that were not quite as impressive as the rest, but looked like they had been toiled with recently. There was a sign made of wood standing on the outskirts of the little garden, but it was in French. It was filled to the brim with roses, poppies and what looked like very recently planted tulips, all of the blooms a shade of red.

 

Matthew saw his new friend staring at his and Francis’ personal garden, and chuckled awkwardly. “Ah, that’s Fran and I’s work. We like the color red, if you can’t tell, but that’s more my doing than his. We just planted the tulips last week, because my friend Lars said they were his favorite.”

 

Christian heard the name drop and immediately interrupted. “Lars isn’t a real friend, stupid. Just because you guys talk and Skype every once in awhile doesn’t make him your friend. Plus, about eighty percent of the time, he’s stoned when you guys are talking.”

 

Matthew snapped forward in his seat, eyes narrowed in a glare as he glowered at his cousin through the rearview mirror. “Lars is my friend. We’ve been talking to each other for over a year, if we weren’t friends he would have stopped talking to me a long time ago.”

 

Gilbert stared at Matthew in surprise. This was the first time the blonde had ever snapped at someone so quickly, automatically on the defense.

 

Christian seemed to back off the subject, mumbling under his breath as he parked in front of the two-story mansion. Gilbert’s attention was drawn back to what was outside his window as Matthew bent over the back of the seat to retrieve their backpacks.

 

“Mattie, you never told me you were rich. Now I’m only going to be after you for the money.” Gilbert teased, earning a slap to the back of his head. He chuckled, taking in the large columns holding up a marble overhang, colonial-style. There were windows intermittently, and giant dark oak doors with large brass knockers above the handles.

 

“Get out,” Matthew whined, shoving the albino’s bag into his side to get him to open the door. Christian was already out of the car and heading to the front of the house, but seemed to be glancing back to make sure the two were on their way out of his car every other second.

 

Gilbert let Matthew lead him into the house, which was open and seemed to have a permanent theme of grayscale throughout. They passed through the entry hall and completely bypassed the large living room to head upstairs. On the second floor, Christian seemed to forget he was supposed to be in overprotective mode as he gave another of his weird salutes to Matthew and said something about being in the game room before taking off down another hallway. Matthew rolled his eyes and nodded farther down the main hallway and started walking again. Gilbert was trailing behind, disregarding any sense of privacy Matthew’s family had as he opened every door as they went down the hall and confirming the contents of each one.

 

He must have counted five bedrooms that looked completely desolate, and one that had a few personal items inside like a hairbrush, scattered pony tail holders, and a guitar covered in a flower design before they turned down a different hallway with far less doors. It was about half the length of the main hallway, but had only four doors leading off of it.

 

“What are in these rooms?” Gilbert asked excitedly, practically vibrating behind Matthew. The blonde turned only slightly and then pointed out each door.

 

The first was right as you turned the corner, farther away from the rest, which were all clustered at the end of the short hall. “That’s just a spare closet. I think it’s mainly used when Alfred throws parties and shit, so he can hide anything that would get him in too much trouble for breaking,” Matthew waved at two of the others, one closer about a third of the way from the end and the other at the very end, “those both go to my room. It’s the second biggest in the house, and Alfred wanted it at first but didn’t want to be so far away from everything, so he went for the fourth biggest instead. Um, the one on the other wall,” he pointed to the final door that was closer to the end than the second, “is to the other end of my bathroom, which is connected to my room.”

 

Matthew walked all the way to the door at the end, causing Gilbert to ask, “Why not just go in the closer one?”

 

“I usually keep that one locked. I have a mini fridge and some hockey equipment stacked up in that end of the room, and usually when people walk in they like, either slam into the fridge or knock over all my stuff, then complain like it was my fault.”

 

Gilbert nodded in understanding, walking in behind Matthew. Gilbert’s eyes widened as he looked around, marvelling at just how much the room was exactly what you would expect Matthew’s room to look like. The walls were painted a dark blue, with weird splotches of opaque paint dotting the walls and ceiling, along with little glow-in-the-dark stickers. Posters seemed to be spotting the walls, until Gilbert realized the room was L-shaped and walked around to peer around the corner. The posters increased in concentration, taking up about 70% of the wall space. Matthew’s bed was in the corner between each leg of the room, covered by a plain plaid comforter and a mountain of pillows that were all mismatched. There were three windows, all running along the longest wall in the room. They all had blackout curtains that shut out any light that might come in. At the end of the poster concentrated side, there was a mini fridge and a stack of hockey equipment, along with a desk that was littered with stacks of books, a bookshelf that matched its disheveled appearance on the opposite wall next to one of the windows. On the end of the shorter leg of the room was a somewhat too big TV and multiple gaming systems, beanbags scattered around it.

 

“Jesus. Your room is fucking huge,” Gilbert murmured, throwing his bag next to where Matthew had set his own on the wall next to the bed. Matthew nodded absently as he pulled his English notebook from his bag, turning back to Gilbert as he flipped it open.

 

“I’ve got all the notes here, so I can just run copies of it and go over them with you. Our book is pretty much useless, and- Gilbert, stop staring at the wall.” 

 

Gilbert looked back at Matthew’s face guiltily, but couldn’t help his eyes wandering back to the weird splotches of translucent paint on the walls. Matthew followed his gaze, and realized what he was staring at. “Oh, that. I think Alfred and I did all that one of the first times we got stoned or drunk or something. Flip the light switch over there.” Matthew said, hopping backwards to sit on the edge of his bed and kicking off his shoes. Gilbert walked back to the switch beside the door, and when he flipped it off, he momentarily lost his breath.

 

The opaque paint lit up, throwing off a myriad of colors into the pitch black of the room. As his eyes adjusted, it was easier to see as the paint threw off a dim glow, outlining everything in different shades of the rainbow. Finally, his eyes landed on Matthew’s face, one side covered in a shade of blue, the other covered by purple and a very light shade of yellow. The purple glow caught in his glasses and reflected back into his lavender irises, making them look like they were casting out their own light. The almost white shade of yellow shadowed one side of Matthew’s soft smile, making his teeth whiter in the dark of the room. 

 

Gilbert stared for a few too many moments, looking at the smile that he got the feeling Matthew hadn’t been giving out a lot. It seemed that in the few days Gilbert had known him, Matthew’s smiles had been slowly increasing in frequency. What was that saying his mother used to say when he and Ludwig were children? 

 

“ _ He who smiles least smiles best, _ ” Gilbert quoted, not realizing he had spoken aloud until Matthew’s smile dropped and he looked away. He didn’t look back up.

 

Gilbert quickly flicked the lights back on, sensing his misstep, and tried to think of a way to diffuse the awkward tension he had caused. In the little time Gilbert had known the shy blonde, he had quickly realized there were problems in his past, big ones that restricted Matthew from enjoying his teenage years like everyone else. Gil could see the weight of it when he walked around as Matthew’s shoulders drooped, the sometimes distant look in his eyes as he stared into space, and the way he was really only comfortable talking to his family and slowly but surely, Gilbert.

 

Gilbert kicked off his shoes and ran at the bed, and before Matthew could react, he dove headfirst into the pile of pillows stacked against the headboard, causing some to fall off the bed and others to be pushed out around him. Gilbert sighed contentedly as the pillows seemed to cushion every part of him, and Matthew giggled at his childish actions, muffled by the thick wall of cotton and feathers between them. Matthew picked through the pillows quietly, and when he finally uncovered Gilbert’s face, he leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially.

 

“You realize we’re not getting anything done, right?”

 

Gilbert smirked up at the blond, grabbing a pillow and whacking the side of his head with it, mussing up the blonde tresses and knocking the red frame of his glasses askew. Another laugh escaped those soft pink lips, and Matthew’s eyes scrunched up around the corners as he picked up a pillow of his own and hit Gilbert’s face with it. Matthew’s happiness had been revived for the moment. Besides the momentary block of the cushion assault, Gilbert couldn’t tear his eyes away from the expression on his friend’s face, or the way his hand slowly reached up to - well, Gilbert didn’t know himself. But as soon as his hand came within six inches of Matthew’s soft expression, he jerked it back to avoid suspicion.

 

“Alright, Professor,” Gilbert taunted, “teach me the magic of Shakespearean literature.”

 

~*~*~*~

 

An hour and a half later found the two sitting on opposite beanbags as Matthew tossed his binder in the general direction of his backpack, not caring to watch and see if it even landed in the right vicinity.

 

“You catch on fast,” Matthew commented, kicking halfheartedly at the albino’s leg, “I thought it would take a lot longer. Now I see how you can never pay attention and get away with it.”

 

Gilbert kicked back, but didn’t really aim all that well and ended up lodging his foot between Matthew’s thigh and the blue material of the beanbag. He let out a noise of complaint, trying to wiggle his foot loose, but only received the sounds of Matthew shifting around to completely bury Gilbert’s foot between his body and the stretchy material.

 

Gilbert gave up, flopping back with his stuck leg outstretched, and accidentally tossed his head back so hard his black framed glasses went tumbling to the floor. “Maybe you’re just a really good teacher, and I’m actually really dumb.” Gilbert replied, reaching around blindly to find his glasses. Once he found them, he sat up again as he perched them on his nose. “Scratch that, I’m actually just awesomely intelligent.”

 

Matthew snorted, unzipping his hoodie to throw it at a nearby chair. “Right. How many times did you mispronounce ‘specific’ again?”

 

Gilbert narrowed his eyes, jerking his trapped foot against Matthew’s butt, causing the blonde to yelp. “Eight times. But you can’t give me shit about pronunciation, English isn’t my first language. Sure, I’m fluent now, but when I was like, eight, I could barely form a full sentence.”

 

Matthew’s eyes widened in awe. “English isn’t your first language?”

 

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you know? Luddy and I moved here from Germany when I was in the first grade and he was in kindergarten. He got to learn all the ABCs and stuff with other kids, but I was slower because they expect you to know all that stuff in first grade, and I didn’t know anything in English other than how to introduce myself.” he explained.

 

Matthew tilted his head for a minute, then looked off to the side before looking back at Gilbert again. He seemed to be pondering something, thinking about whether or not he should give Gilbert some piece of information. When he finally spoke again, it was softer than the albino had ever heard it.

 

“When I was a kid, my mom taught me French. Our dad only spoke English, but my mom was from France and spoke both. I was always her favorite, she spent a lot more time with me than with Alfred, so Al never learned. He didn’t really want to, either. So I learned English and French at the same time, and I’m fluent in both. That’s why Francis loves talking to me so much, he is mom’s brother’s son. After mom moved here, Uncle Pierre and Francis moved to America a few years later.” he murmured. Matthew’s expression was so open and vulnerable, and somehow sad. Gilbert felt uncomfortable with the unsettling look in his friend’s eyes, and quickly tried to take his mind off of it. 

 

“How do you say ‘eat my ass’ in French?” Gilbert questioned, finally yanking his foot free. Matthew perked up, sitting up straighter and giving Gilbert a sly smile.

 

“Of course you would ask for swears.” he teased. Gilbert just winked and waited.

 

“It would be  _ manger mon cul _ ,” Matthew answered, right as his bedroom door opened. Apparently the intruding blonde had only heard the end, because a naughty smile split his face as he raised a hand to his chest.

 

“ _ Mon dieu, Mattieu,”  _ Francis exclaimed, playing the scandalized passerby, “I didn’t think you could be so  _ forward  _ about your desires in private.”

 

Matthew’s entire face turned the same color as the blossoms in his garden, and he whipped around to look at his cousin. “You came in at the wrong time, I promise that was not a request.”

 

Gilbert smiled devilishly, nudging Matthew’s leg with his foot again. “That’s a shame. I was ready to do it, too.”

 

“Gilbert!” Matthew whined, reaching over to grab the assaulting leg and pull the albino off his beanbag. The crimson eyed boy hit the floor with a thump and a laugh as Matthew tried to cover his red face.

 

Francis only laughed, leaning against the door frame. “Actually, I just came to see if you two wanted to come hang out with the rest of us. Chrissy-poo has been worried sick that Gilbert was deflowering our precious baby cousin back here.”

 

Gilbert snickered, but quickly realized Matthew wasn’t laughing. He glanced between the two relatives, and watched as the color drained from Francis’ face as his mind seemed to catch up with his mouth. Matthew’s eyes had shut and his head was bowed just enough so that Gilbert couldn’t catch his expression.

 

“Matthew, I’m sorry, I-”

 

Matthew held up a hand, silencing Francis. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Matthew turned to look at Gilbert, expression now mostly blank. “We can go hang out with them if you want.”

 

Gilbert wasn’t the most perceptive person on Earth, but you could cut the tension between the two cousins with a knife. “Uh, sure,” he responded, standing to try and shake off the heavy atmosphere as he helped Matthew up.

 

That’s how Gilbert found himself sitting on a couch between Ludwig and Mathias, in a Wii Mario Kart tournament that was quickly determining whether or not Ludwig’s claims to love him needed to be called into question as he was knocked off the track for the  _ sixth time _ .

 

When they had arrived in the game room, Gilbert had immediately saw his brother choosing a character for the next round and demanded to be included so he could decimate him. Matthew had laughed at Gilbert’s childish reaction, and had stuck close to the couch for a few minutes before moving to the edge of the room with Francis. Gilbert briefly recalled Matthew approaching the couch again to talk to him a couple times, but gave up the third time the albino cut him off with a “I’m gonna win this, gimme a second.” However, Gilbert’s plans seemed to be going the other way around, and fast. This was his third or fourth race, and he still hadn’t beat his brother. The entire group usually appeared at the Jones’ residence every Friday night, to either hold gaming tournaments or do “really stupid and illegal shit that occasionally lands half of us in a holding cell or passed out in Alfred’s backyard half-naked” as Lukas had so eloquently put it.

 

“Feli, can you help me out?” Gilbert called in the small Italian’s general direction, refusing to take his eyes off the screen. There was an affirmative noise before Ludwig’s character swerved right over the side of the track, letting Gilbert’s pass it with ease. The albino laughed, and cast a quick glance to the side to see exactly what method Feliciano had distracted Lud with, but turned his head back to face the screen with a light blush as soon as he caught sight of the smaller boy straddling Ludwig and trying to shove his tongue into his little brother’s mouth.

 

As he finally won, Gilbert let out a victory cry, followed by “Did you see that Mattie?”

 

When no one responded (besides a few chuckles from other people at his victory screech), Gilbert turned to look around, only to find Matthew was nowhere in the room. He turned to Christian, who was sitting at the other end of the couch, and glared. The brunette glanced behind him before he realized those red eyes were set on him, and raised his hands in the air. “I didn’t do anything. If Matthew’s not here, he left on his own. Last I checked he and Francis were in some kind of fight and decided to take it somewhere else so they wouldn’t bother the rest of us.”

 

Gilbert pouted, pushing his glasses back up his nose as he stood to look for the little blonde. Matthew was his main reason for being here, and in the short time they had been friends, Gilbert had noticed that people often ignored Matthew, almost like he was invisible. Mathias grabbed his arm, tugging him back to the couch excitedly. “Hey, I want a rematch!”

 

Alfred snatched up the misplaced remote beside Ludwig and Feli, selecting a character. “I’ll play this round too,” he said offhandedly, sitting in the floor near their feet. Gilbert’s eyebrows creased together, but he settled back. He could always find Matthew after the next round. Plus, he and Francis needed time to finish whatever fight they had gotten into.

 

~*~*~*~

 

A few people had already left or broke off to sleep in a room, the first being Ivan who apparently had a Skype date; then Tino, Berwald, and Lukas; and Gilbert finally seemed to realize how late it was when Ludwig patted him on the shoulder and said they should go so he could get Feliciano home. Gilbert had immediately checked his phone, seeing that it was already midnight, about an hour before Feli’s curfew.

 

“Shit,” he cursed, “I never found Matthew. I didn’t realize I’d been in here this long.”

 

Ludwig just tapped him again and told him to get a move on, leaving Gilbert feeling kind of helpless. He knew Matthew didn’t have that many friends, he knew Matthew was used to being on the sidelines, but Matthew had been the one who had invited him here and Gilbert had completely ditched him after the first two hours. Gilbert felt all kinds of curse words slip past his lips, and a hand ran through his hair. Matthew had been so nice to him the past few days, and Gilbert could tell the little blonde was letting Gil get much closer than he had anybody in a long time. Now, Gilbert had gone and ignored him just like everyone else did.

 

Alfred, sensing Gilbert’s distress, casually pulled his angry boyfriend into his lap as he offered a solution. “You realize we have a shit ton of extra rooms, right? Matthew or I could drive you home tomorrow, it’s no biggie. Plus, you left all your stuff in his room, right? And Lud, don’t you have spare clothes in you and Feli’s room he could borrow?”

 

Gilbert turned and raised a brow at his brother. “You and Feli have your own room here?” Ludwig flushed, trying to stutter out a reasonable explanation, but was cut off by Alfred.

 

“Yeah, everyone has a room here, since we have so many and I throw a lot of parties. Sometimes people end up staying way later than planned, and dad has issues with people driving too late at night, so he just lets them stay. Most of these freeloaders keep extra clothes here in case of emergencies, and Chris and Fran stay over so much they have a closet full. Lud and Feli were always so attached that they’ve never had separate rooms.”

 

Gilbert wiggled his eyebrows at his brother and his sleepy boyfriend, draped over the younger Beilschmidt sibling’s arm. “This explains all those nights where you decided to randomly stay over at your friends’ houses, brother dearest,” he taunted, sticking out his tongue.

 

Ludwig just flushed, turning with Feliciano on his back. “Whatever. Call me when you’re headed home tomorrow.” And with that, Ludwig left, leaving Gilbert in the company of Alfred and his angry-yet-willing-to-make-out boyfriend, a snoring Christian, and other couples scattered in the room. He quickly stood to go find Matthew’s room again, and apologize for ditching him. Maybe Matthew would still be up to hanging out together, even if it was this late.

 

After wandering for a while down the main hallway, he finally found Matthew’s hall again. As he headed down it, he heard the sound of muffled laughing and weird trap music, and the sound of feet stomping on the ground. The song changed when he was halfway down the hall, and suddenly there was a small gasp as a female and male voice spoke over a speaker before two male voices started singing along loudly to Promiscuous, practically shouting. 

 

Gilbert eased the door at the end of the hallway open quietly, and the first thing he spotted were two empty wine bottles and a half full one next to them. Then were the glasses, both on the floor by the end of the bed, with a little red liquid left in both. As he crouched down and creeped towards the corner to lead to the other leg of the room, he heard one of the voices stumble over the lyrics, causing Matthew’s giggle to echo through the room as he abandoned singing for a moment.

 

As Gilbert finally peered around, he was greeted with the sight of a shirtless Francis in pajama pants looking confused and trying to dance, while Matthew seemed to be having more success at dancing but was overcome with a fit of laughing as he swayed his hips, blonde waves tousled and eyes a little unfocused as he looked at his cousin. Matthew, too, was in some state of undress, having lost his jeans, and now stood in a t-shirt and boxers.

 

They both perked up to sing one line in unison, raising their hands to point at their ring finger, “ _ What’s the problem, I don’t see no ring on your hand?” _

 

Francis started having more luck with dancing and singing after that, following Matthew’s lead in his awkward hip movements. Matthew pointed at Francis as he continued to sing, a joking smile on his face as he stumbled slightly.

 

“ _ I be the first to admit it. I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent! _ ” Matthew sang, and then started laughing at the obvious irony of who he was singing it to as Francis sang the next few lines on his own, pretending to try and dance seductively, causing Matthew to have a harder time breathing through his laugh.

 

“ _ You wanna get in my world, get lost in it. Boy I’m tired of running, let’s walk for a minute! _ ”

 

As the chorus began, Matthew seemed to give up on dancing at all, instead wobbling towards his wine glass to get another sip. As he placed the cup back down, he noticed Gilbert, and a goofy smile came over his face. He stumbled towards Gilbert, who quickly stood to catch the extremely drunk blonde.

 

“Gillllllllll-beeerrrrrrrt,” Matthew sang, pushing out of the pale arms to stand somewhat steadily on his own, “dooooo you wanna daaaance with us?” Matthew deliberately drew out the syllables, batting his eyelashes up at the albino boy. Gilbert gulped as he looked at Francis, who was just staring at the two blankly with glassy blue eyes. 

 

_ Promiscuous boy, let’s get to the point. _

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Mattie. Why’d you guys get smashed?”

 

Matthew tilted his head, and looked to Francis to roll his eyes. Gilbert thought he must have missed something, but ignored this small interaction as Matthew swung his gaze back around. “That was such an-” Matthew hiccuped, “-Alfred thing to ask, Gilly. It’s preeeeeeeetty obvious why we got drunk.”

 

Gilbert just reached out to steady the blonde as he stumbled on air again, trying to avoid catastrophe as Francis snorted and started going towards the stereo to change the song using the phone attached to it. “It’s not that obvious. We just met a few days ago, remember?” Gilbert reasoned with the unsteady twin in front of him. Francis seemed a lot steadier on his feet than Matthew did, but he still looked pretty tipsy to the German.

 

Matthew frowned, and raised his hands to Gilbert’s cheeks to hold his face. “Gilbert, don’t you geeeeeeeeeet it?” Matthew complained, leaning in to the larger boy’s body. Gilbert felt his cheeks tint a shade of red, trying to focus on the lyrics of the song instead of the flushed and unguarded expression on Matthew’s face. (As if that helped.)

 

_ Wait, I don’t mean no harm. I can see you with my t-shirt on. _

 

Gilbert felt his cheeks increase in redness as an image came to mind at the words of the song. Matthew in one of his shirts, curled up on a bed, asleep, with his glasses almost falling off-

 

The albino tried to bring his attention back to the situation at hand. Matthew dropped his head to Gilbert’s chest as the song finally changed, and Francis started walking back to Matthew’s bed. The song was much quieter and slow, the piano in the background very solemn. Francis started speaking in French, crawling onto Matthew’s bed to start pulling covers down. “ _ Si vous laissez ce cul, je vais vous tenir jusqu'à ce que vous endormez _ .” (If you leave the ass, I’ll hold you until you fall asleep.)

 

Matthew shook his head against Gilbert’s chest, and turned to lean his cheek against Gilbert’s warm muscles. Gil awkwardly reached his arms around the small blonde, putting one hand on Matthew’s lower back and the other between his shoulder blades. “ _ Menteur. Vous vous endormirez aussi. Aussi, Gilbert est très chaleureux. Je ne peux pas le tenir _ ?” (Liar. You’ll fall asleep too. Also, Gilbert is very warm. Can’t I hold him?) Matthew replied, snuggling closer to the albino’s torso after saying his name. Gilbert briefly wondered what was being said, but his success with getting answers so far hadn’t been good, so he just let them talk.

 

Francis shot a glare at the aforementioned albino, and looked to his cousin who seemed to be as happy as the cat who got the mouse, cuddled up to an unresponsive and frozen German. Francis scoffed, sliding off Matthew’s bed to walk past them to the door.

 

“ _ Bien. Gardez idiote à la place, je ne veux pas dormir ici de toute façon. _ ” (Fine. Keep the idiot instead, I didn’t want to sleep here anyway.) Francis snapped leaving the room bitterly. Matthew just laughed a little as he reached down to tug on Gilbert’s hand, moving him away from the closing door.

 

“You heard him. I’m tiiiirred, Gilbert. Let’s go to bed.” Matthew mumbled, pulling him towards the bed. Gilbert only resisted slightly, and felt guilt creep up his spine as Matthew flopped onto the bed as the albino stood at the bedside. Matthew was way too open to anything Gilbert might try, and it made him feel much too responsible with Matthew’s current condition.

 

“Mattie, this is a bad idea. I can’t sleep in your bed,” he tried, removing his hand from the blonde’s grasp. Matthew looked up at him, a pout taking over his lips.

 

“What do you mean? Of course you can, I’m letting you!” Matthew cried, sitting up to snatch Gilbert’s hand and pull him back. Gilbert tried to yank his hand back again, feeling his blush go to the back of his neck. He stopped resisting immediately when Matthew made a small distressed noise in the back of his throat and held to his hand tighter. Gilbert looked down to see tears clustering on Matthew’s eyelashes, threatening to spill over as his lower lip trembled.

 

“ _ Tu me détestes déjà? _ ” (You hate me already?) he asked quietly, grip loosening on Gilbert’s hand, leaning away to shrink into his covers. Those lavender irises seemed to echo the sadness in Matthew’s voice, shining from the unshed tears and light above their heads. Gilbert panicked. This was going downhill, and fast. Maybe he should have left his stuff here and went with Ludwig.

 

“Matthew, you’ve gotta speak English, I don’t know what you said,” Gilbert murmured, holding Matthew’s hand back instead of trying to pull away in fear of upsetting the twin any more than he already had.

 

Matthew gripped his hand almost desperately, apparently not understanding Gilbert. “Gil, please, please, please? Francis already left, and I don’t want to be- to be  _ s-seul _ ,” (alone) Matthew begged, tugging on Gilbert’s arm with far more force than he had before.

 

The door opened again to reveal both Alfred and Christian trying to push into the room, getting caught together by their broad shoulders before they both took in the scene before them. Christian shoved Alfred out of the way to walk over. Alfred followed, and took Matthew’s hand out of Gilbert’s to entangle his fingers with his twin.

 

Christian picked up the wine glasses, and started talking to a very confused Gilbert quickly. “Francis told us he left you with Matthew, and he’s not exactly sober, so we figured Matthew wasn’t either. Looks like we were right.” Christian looked at the drunk and confused Matthew that was already clinging to his brother with sad eyes, almost pitying. “Matthew is a really cuddly and emotional drunk, so Al and I figured out what was going on. He’ll always drag one of us into bed with him when he’s about to fall asleep, but he won’t remember anything in the morning, and he only wants one person. If he can get Alfred it’s best, because they slept in the same bed until they were like, nine. Al can calm him down faster than anyone. Francis likes to take Alfred’s place just because he and Matthew are almost as close, and he’ll get really salty if Matthew says no.” Christian leaned in to whisper, “Fran is basically just jealous of the twins’ relationship. He’s an only child, and when he met those two idiots and saw how close they were when they were kids, he wanted it too.”

 

Alfred was slowly coaxing his twin under the covers, keeping an arm around his twin’s shoulders and laying next to him on top of the comforter, planning to leave after Matthew fell asleep. Christian nodded at the door for Gilbert to follow him, setting the wine glasses by the pile of bottles where they were less likely to be tipped over.

 

Gilbert followed, and Christian led him to a room a few doors down from Matthew’s hallway, lost in thought until he swung the door open. “This one’s empty. Listen, he’s gonna be really embarrassed in the morning, so don’t tell him you saw him drunk, and definitely don’t tell him he tried to drag you into bed.”

 

Christian explained where everything was in case Gilbert needed it, as it was already nearing midnight. Most of the people had left earlier than usual that night, so there probably wouldn’t be a lot of people awake for very much longer. Christian seemed to be trying to hurry out of the room, already feeling the questions bubbling in Gilbert’s mind.

 

“Christian, if you don’t mind me asking -” Gilbert began. Christian slammed his eyelids shut, gripping the doorjamb he had almost escaped from. He took a breath, turning slowly as the albino finished his question, “- why did they get drunk?”

 

There was a brief silence, Christian contemplating his words. He could give Gilbert the easy answer, but that would make him feel like he had caused it. The truth was, Gilbert, Francis, and Christian himself had all had a part in this. Francis was just the most willing to do something stupid to relieve their cousin of his emotional distress.

 

Finally, he came up with the most honest, and vaguest possible response. “You ignoring him while you were playing games probably had something to do with it, but not much. Mattie’s used to that, it probably didn’t even bother him to be honest.” Christian looked at the floor. “It was mostly my and Francis’ fault. We...said something we shouldn’t have. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Gilbert looked ready to ask more questions, but Christian beat him with a fast goodnight and slammed the door shut. He leaned against the closed door for a moment, letting out a frustrated breath, before pushing his body forward and walking down the hallway to his own room.

  
If there was anything this poor excuse of a family had, it was secrets, and Christian would be damned before he was the one to spill even a drop of any of them.


	4. Or durst inhabit on a living brow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew’s shoulders slowly lost tension, relaxing slightly into Gilbert’s arms and letting out a breath of relief. Matthew calmed down, realizing nothing had happened to upset his friend, and he had forgiven the albino for his mistake already, so everything was fine. Gilbert was the first person to be so upfront and honest with him, and he reveled in the feeling of actually being able to trust something another person had said for once.
> 
> Gilbert was halfway out of the car when a question rang through the air. “Do I need to go and give your parents an excuse? I feel like it’s my fault you stayed out so late,” Matthew asked timidly, leaning across the console.
> 
> Gilbert stared back blankly for a moment, feeling that curl of pain coil up at the bottom of his stomach before smiling and waving Matthew off. “Nah, I got it. They probably won’t care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guess who didn't realize it had been a month since they posted?  
> ME.  
> But just a warning, updates might slow down because I've only written up to chapter 6 (which you should be afraid of because - wow, it's sad) and I like to be at least 3 chapters ahead before I post nowadays. Also, if anyone follows my ereri fic, which is horrible in my opinion, I might update it soon. A friend showed me an AOT game and I got sucked right back into the fandom. So, on top of all this, I'll be working on other projects too, because I can't be simple and do one thing at a time.
> 
> This chapter is more focused on family dynamics, so have fun kiddies. Also please comment or give kudos! I, as always, need to know you guys are enjoying this.

The next morning brought many surprises for Matthew, first of all being that there was a large body mass snoring obnoxiously on top of him. After gauging just how close he was to suffocating and slapping a hand on the muscled back, he deemed it as Alfred, who would not be moving anytime soon unless Matthew made him.

“Oh, god,” Matthew groaned, struggling to wedge his arms between himself and his twin. After a short countdown in his head, he pushed with all his might and managed to flip his brother onto the other side of the bed, watching in both annoyance and amusement as his brother almost choked in the middle of a loud intake of air, spluttering in his sleep before settling back into the blankets. There was a thin trail of drool shimmering on Alfred’s cheek, and Matthew cringed at the thought of a small puddle somewhere on his bed.

Another (more terrified) shiver ran down his spine as he remembered Arthur was supposed to stay over last night. Al would never hear the end of it, and neither would anyone else within a half mile radius of their house.

Matthew ran a hand through his hair, feeling where the waves had turned to curls and tangled in the night. Spotting the empty bottles and almost-empty glasses piled in the corner, he realized his sleeping habits weren’t the only cause. He could only hope Gilbert had left before he had started singing, as he and Francis almost inevitably did last night, as always. He tried uselessly to remember what had happened after his argument with Francis had turned ugly and they had started drinking to calm their nerves, knowing he wouldn’t be able to recall anything past his sixth glass (seventh if he was lucky). His hangover was already coming on, a dull pounding blocking all stream of coherent thought.

After stumbling into the shower, and letting the water pour over him for a good half hour, he threw his hair into a headband and put on a pair of sweatpants and a giant t-shirt before making his way to the kitchen. He knew Ivan’s sister, who had came to work for them a little over a year ago, would already have a plate of steaming hot pancakes sitting in the microwave awaiting him. Katyusha made them meals when prompted, and most of the time when she was not, and cleaned the mansion. Or, at least, the inhabited parts.

Matthew kept his eyes mostly closed as he walked in, and climbed onto a barstool, slamming his head on the counter as soon as he had sat down. He heard the sound of a cup being set down on one of the kitchen counters, and, assuming it was either Chris or Francis, spouted a half-assed threat for aspirin and water.

“Get me the ibuprofen and something cold to drink before I shove one of my hockey sticks up your ass and plug your esophagus with your intestines.” He growled, moving his left hand to block the sun coming through the bay window by the dining table from mutilating his eyes.

There was a short snort before the sound of cabinets opening and closing repeatedly. After the fifth one closed, Matthew got impatient, and glanced up to see what was taking so long, only to blink repeatedly and wonder if his eyesight had gotten so bad that he got his colors mixed up without his glasses.

“Oh,” he rasped out, watching as Gilbert opened yet another cabinet in his search for a water glass and medicine. “Hi. I thought you were Chris.” The albino spared him an amused glance, pushing his own glasses back up to sit in front of his eyes properly. The crimson of his irises gleamed with amusement at Matthew’s state, both mental and physical.

“Sorry to disappoint, sleeping beauty. Mind pointing out the cups and meds?”

Matthew flushed, eyes trying and failing to focus in on the tousled bed head Gilbert was sporting this morning. (Or was it afternoon?) “Ah, don’t worry about it, I’ll get it. Sorry for threatening you with a hockey stick, and ah, being so grumpy. I’m not a morning-” a quick look at the clock, “-or afternoon person.”

Matthew slid from the stool, making his way across the brightly lit kitchen to pick a glass from one of the far cabinets and grabbing a bottle of pills from the windowsill above the sink on his way to the fridge’s water dispenser. He felt his mind go into overdrive, trying desperately to remember anything from the night before - besides brief flashes of Francis complaining with his shirt stuck over his head about being too lazy to take it all the way off.

Sneaking little peeks at Gilbert as he filled his glass and took his pills, he tried to pick up any creeped out or obvious signs that the albino had seen him while he was completely smashed. Upon catching his gaze, Gilbert smiled and quirked an eyebrow, picking up the mug he had set down on the counter.

“I like the hair band, Mattie.” He stated, and took a long sip of his liquid ambrosia. Matthew blushed and opened the microwave to check for his breakfast before closing it again and heating it up. A nervous hand came up to fiddle with the edge of the fabric in his hair, wondering if he should pull it out.

“I usually don’t pull my hair back, but thank you. I didn’t know you were still here.” Matthew kicked at the bottom of one of the cabinets with his foot. “Sorry for ditching you.”

Gilbert almost choked on his coffee, but managed to swallow it as the guilt came back full force. Why was Matthew apologizing? He was the one who had ditched Matthew, hanging out with Alfred and his friends instead of the twin who had invited him over and been so nice to him. “I should be apologizing. I’m the one who ignored you, I’m sorry. You were nice enough to tutor me, too.”

Matthew felt a stinging heat behind his eyes, and turned his head away to calm down. It was normal for people to ignore him, and despite Gilbert acknowledging what he had done, it still hurt. Especially because he had approached the albino multiple times to try and catch his attention again. Gilbert had only been his friend for a few days, and he was already losing him to other people. It was probably inevitable. Letting out a small sigh, he looked back up with a smile that felt stapled into place.

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind. It’s probably more fun hanging out with everyone else,” Matthew lied, hoping Gilbert wouldn’t notice.

But Gil did have a younger brother, and he was no idiot. He could see through lies like glass, but left it be for the moment as Matthew pulled his food from the microwave. His mind flitted over the memories from the night before, the way Matthew had looked so vulnerable and sad when he tried to leave. A small frown played at the corner of his lips, taking in how different drunk Matthew was to sober Matthew. Where the blonde had been ready to pull the albino into bed and cry openly in front of Gilbert last night, Mattie now had heavily guarded eyes and was faking every other gesture.

“Did you uh...see me after I left the game room last night?” Matthew asked tentatively, not looking back as he pulled a bottle of syrup from another cabinet.

Gilbert briefly considered lying like Christian had told him to, but then realized telling Matthew a lie that he would probably find out about later would only hurt his chances of breaking down his walls. “Yeah, for a few minutes.” He answered vaguely.

Matthew tensed up, pouring syrup onto his pancakes before turning to face Gilbert, a determined look on his face. It was obvious he just wanted to get this over with.

“I’m sorry if I was really weird and emotional, and for just getting drunk for no reason like that. Francis just suggested we drink a little, which turned into a lot, and I can’t remember what happened. Did I do anything that upset you?” Matthew blurted out quickly, staring Gilbert in the eyes. His face was flushed and his right knee was trembling, which led the albino to believe facing him head on like this was giving him serious anxiety. (Despite how upset Matthew seemed by all this, Gilbert couldn’t help but think how cute the blonde could be when he was nervous.)

“Nothing that upset me, don’t worry.” Matthew still looked uncomfortable, shifting anxiously as he set his plate on the countertop and poked at his pancakes. Gilbert sighed, walking over and draping himself over his new friend’s shoulders. “The worst thing you did was try to get me to cuddle with you a little bit. You were speaking French for the most part, so I couldn’t understand what you were saying for about eighty percent of the time I was there.”

Matthew’s shoulders slowly lost tension, relaxing slightly into Gilbert’s arms and letting out a breath of relief. Matthew calmed down, realizing nothing had happened to upset his friend, and he had forgiven the albino for his mistake already, so everything was fine. Gilbert was the first person to be so upfront and honest with him, and he reveled in the feeling of actually being able to trust something another person had said for once. A slow smile broke out across his face, and as he turned to tell Gilbert he was happy he wasn’t mad, it was too late to consider how close they were. 

Suddenly they were face to face, noses slightly bumping. They both froze up immediately, not knowing how to react. There was a moment where they both went absolutely still, just looking straight into each other’s eyes. Matthew held his breath, hearing Gilbert do the same, and he couldn’t keep his eyes all that focused, mainly feeling the way the albino was all over him, every place they had contact lighting on fire, spreading all over him, and it was unbearably hot everywhere, and his cheeks heated up very quickly.

Gilbert was lost in the way Matthew looked like this, cheeks flushed, amethyst eyes hazy from the close proximity, and the way he had subconsciously bit his lip as he had sucked in a breath. It blew him away just how beautiful the blonde was, and it hit him very suddenly just how easily he could lean in just a bit and kiss those soft, puffy lips - and then he released a breath, hoping to do just that.

But as he released his breath, the spell was broken, and Matthew’s little button nose with the upturn at the tip wrinkled and an amused smirk cracked his cheeks. “Didn’t Chrissy get you a toothbrush? Coffee can’t hide morning breath, Gil.”

Gilbert turned bright red, immediately letting the other boy go as he stalked back over to his mug and took a big drink. “I didn’t know where they were, and I only knew where your room was, and I figured you were sleeping, so coffee was the best I could do - don’t laugh!”

But Matthew was, and he finally turned back and started cutting up his pancakes with the side of his fork. The syrup was sticky and clung to his fork each time he pulled it away, and when he finished, he shoved a bite in his mouth before picking up the plate and motioning for Gilbert to follow him as he left the kitchen. He said something, but it was muffled by the mouthful of pancakes and little snorts of laughter.

Gilbert pouted, and trailed behind Matthew to the stairs, and into a room that had a “Do Not Disturb” sign on it with the words “Horny Frenchman contained within! Enter at own risk” scrawled below it in Sharpie and what looked to be angry knife marks going through those words. (Later Gil would hear the story of how they found out Francis was simultaneously sex-starved and violent when stoned, and the message in Sharpie was Alfred’s idea of a warning.) Whereas other people would have knocked, Matthew just strolled right in, pancakes in hand, and headed for the attached bathroom. A pile of blankets shifted slightly as they entered, but Francis did not sit up. Gilbert, ever the oblivious one, hardly realized that he might not be meant to enter or go all the way to the bathroom with Matthew, until there was a low growl emitted from the creepy comforter cave. Gilbert’s walk sped up to catch up with the blonde in the bathroom, but not because he was scared. He just… didn’t enjoy sudden scary noises from ominous locations.

Matthew opened the bottom cabinet, and paused to take another bite of his pancakes before digging around in the area below the sink with one hand. After a moment of struggle, his hand resurfaced with a bright pink toothbrush in the original plastic wrapping. He examined it for a moment with a satisfied smirk, and brandished the new item to Gilbert.

“Don’t you have a more manly color?” He whined, flipping the toothbrush this way and that as if checking it for damage. His crimson eyes held nothing but obvious disdain for the girly item, but Matthew only smiled wider as he finally swallowed.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the ‘p.’ Matthew bumped the door of the bottom cabinet closed with his knee, hiding the box full of brand new toothbrushes in every other color. Gilbert grumbled as the reentered the bedroom, and he headed to the door, muttering about how ‘unawesome’ the toothbrush was, only to find Matthew taking a detour to the bed. As he approached, there was another strange growl, which Matthew ignored as he took another bite of his pancakes and just stared at the lump. Finally he sat his pancakes down on the bedside table, and without any indication of why, he crawled under the covers and pulled them over his head. There was a loud whine and then a short struggle under the covers that had Gilbert’s eyes going wide before a head of blonde appeared again.

Now, however, it was Francis, looking disheveled and angry, pinning down a perfectly calm Matthew. His torso was bare, the smattering of light blonde curls on his chest visible as he turned his body to glare darkly at Gilbert  with bags under his eyes. “What, may I ask, are you doing in my room,  _ Gilbert _ ?”

The albino’s name came out so heavily accented it no longer sounded like his own, some gruff other version of it taking its place on Francis’ tongue. There was a brief silence before Matthew pushed his cousin’s hands off his arms and sat up slightly to grab his pancakes, not paying attention to the seething boy on top of him.

“I just followed Mattie…” Gilbert mumbled, putting his hands up as if in surrender, staying close to the door. Francis’ eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to yell at the intruder, but turned back at Matthew tapping on his elbow. Moments later, there was a fork full of syrup-dripping pancakes shoved into his face, and the fork pushed past his lips to lodge a bite of sugary goodness into his cousin’s mouth.

Francis chewed quietly, glaring intensely at Matthew, who stared back innocently, lavender eyes glittering with mirth as he took his own bite of pancakes. Gilbert was extremely confused as to what was happening, watching the strange exchange with rapt attention. Was this normal? Did Matthew crawl into bed to wake people up all the time? Why did he have to crawl under the covers?

Francis rolled off of Matthew with a groan and some grumbles in French, and Matthew seemed to have a victorious air about him as he slid off the mattress. He approached Gilbert, and pushed him lightly out the door as Francis threw an arm over his tired eyes.  

“ _Mettre sous-vêtements sur, l'amour_ ,” (Put underwear on, love,) Matthew called teasingly, closing the door behind him. Francis made a sound akin to a dying hyena, but didn’t reply. Gilbert raised an eyebrow as he walked down a few doors to the room bestowed upon him the night before, but decided he could ask later. Matthew tried to speak around the mouthful of pancakes he was eating, but all Gilbert heard was muffled noises that reminded him of the parents off Charlie Brown.

“Didn’t get any of that.”

Matthew swallowed noisily, making a show of licking all the syrup off his lips and dropping the fork on his plate. “I’m gonna go wake up Christian. He should be awake and suffering just like me.”

Gilbert leaned against the doorframe of his newly claimed room. He curiously asked, “But Chris didn’t drink last night?”

Matthew nodded solemnly, handing Gilbert the almost empty plate of pancakes. “You’re right, he didn’t. He should still be awake and suffering, and I can make that happen without him having a hangover. Plus, I believe he pissed Alfred off about a week ago by body slamming him awake, so I have a legitimate reason. I’ll be back in a minute, brush your teeth.”

Gilbert went into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Matthew went back to his own room, and as soon as he got to his bed he started yelling, because shaking had never worked with Al, and then crawled on top of his twin and started smacking his arm. After a few seconds, Alfred blinked up at his brother blearily, trying to figure out where he was.

“Nice headband,” were the first words out of his mouth, reaching up to pull the blue strap from his brother’s hair. After successfully ruining Matthew’s hair, he smiled dopily, patting the blonde curls like it was a friendly dog. Matt just let him go through the motions, before realization finally dawned on the larger twin’s features. “Oh, I’m in your bed. Why are you waking me up?”

“I wanna torture Christian. Help me?” Matthew asked innocently, swatting at the tan hand trying to slip back into his hair. Alfred hummed his approval, basking in the comfort of the pillows for a few more seconds before pushing himself up into a sitting position. There was a short bout of silence, before Alfred asked the question on both of their minds.

“Rap or k-pop?”

~*~*~

Fifteen minutes later found a very confused albino watching Alfred running around with a cell phone that was obviously not his, sending mildly offensive snapchats to everyone on Christian’s phone, while Matthew continuously waited for a chance to either trip or clothesline his cousin. Not to mention the extremely loud voice of some unknown rapper poured from the living room’s stereo system, bringing more irritable people that had apparently spent the night stomping down the stairs, presumably to either turn off the music or kill whoever had turned it on.

Matthew, upon seeing more than just Francis coming downstairs, retreated back from the exchange, slinking back to Gilbert with a somewhat smug yet nervous smile. Gilbert tried to focus on Matthew, he really did, but it was hard when Christian had finally caught Alfred and tackled him to the floor, and was in the process of trying to pull his cousin’s pants off while cackling maniacally.

Matthew watched too, until Christian had gotten the ankles of the stolen pants tied around his neck, and there was an angry looking Arthur approaching the duo. There was a distinctly angry glint in his green eyes, with a tinge of jealousy thrown in. Matthew had seen it quite a few times before the English boy and his brother had got into a screaming match, so he grabbed Gilbert’s wrist and pulled him towards the stairs as fast as he could, tugging harder if Gilbert tried to resist.

“We gotta go, like, yesterday. This is about to get ugly.” Matthew hissed, dragging the albino away from his entertainment and back to his bedroom. Gilbert craned his neck as Arthur reached the idiot relatives, seething. He growled something out, and immediately Alfred’s brows furrowed in irritation at whatever it was, and Christian started trying to back away, pants still tied around his neck.

Alfred replied in an equally low voice, and apparently everyone saw what was coming as they all tried to pile either out the front door or back upstairs. A panicked looking Tino basically dragged his gigantic boyfriend up the stairs, surprising Gilbert with the strength he seemed to possess.  _ Mental Note: Don’t piss Tino off. _ Right before Matthew pulled him into the hallway, he saw Alfred throw his hands in the air as he leaned in closer to yell in his boyfriend’s face, “He’s my fucking  _ cousin _ , for fuck’s sake, Arthur!”

Matthew didn’t enjoy the fights in any shape or form, and led Gilbert all the way back to his room with fervor to escape the sound of Arthur shouting back, followed by a grunt. Probably one of them shoving the other. They never bothered trying to be quiet or go somewhere private for their fights, preferring to just scream their feelings out right where they stood. Sometimes Matthew couldn’t tell if they should be together or not, or if the relationship was healthy at all, but based on his own experience with dating, he couldn’t judge.

As the door closed behind Gilbert, Matthew let out a sigh of relief, and automatically made his way to the stereo on the other end of his room. Francis’ phone was still there, for unknown reasons, but Matthew couldn’t care less as he hit play and music poured over the room. Maybe when the two started reconciling he could block out the moans.

Gilbert flopped onto his unmade bed, legs sticking out from the side for a moment before dropping to hit the sideboard with a dull thump. “So I guess torturing Christian was a success?”

Matthew nodded, padding back over to his bed to fall next to Gilbert. “He likes to wake Al up obnoxiously, and I felt like causing someone pain, so…” he trailed off, running a hand through his hair. Gilbert smirked deviously, turning to lay on his side and prop his head on his hand to look at Matthew.

“I get it, Mattie,” he laughed, “you’re just a sadist.”

Matthew blushed and began sputtering, whacking the arm holding Gilbert’s head up so that it collapsed to the blankets. “I am not!”

Gilbert cackled, leaning in to tease the blonde. “Don’t hide it, I know you’re a little perv in there. Probably get excited just thinking about kicking someone in the shin.”

Matthew laughed a little, but sounded slightly uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken. Gilbert picked up on this and shifted out of Matthew’s personal space, rolling across the bed until he could bury himself in the pile of pillows. There was a long silence, not an uncomfortable one, but just the sound of the two friends breathing as they both laid there, unsure of what to do or say, but not struggling to find answers.

Finally, three songs later, Matthew reached to his bedstand and checked the time, realizing it was almost two in the afternoon. “Shouldn’t I get you home? Your parents must be wondering where you are.”

Gilbert refrained from flinching in a way that was visible to Matthew, but did let his eyes slam shut in discomfort for a moment before giving a noncommittal grunt in response. Matthew let out a slight giggle at the noise, patting Gilbert’s knee as he stood to put on something other than sweatpants and a hoodie. The white-haired boy stayed buried in the pillows, but Matthew still took caution and changed in the bathroom. He paused as he was about to pull a shirt on, looking at his body in the mirror. Yes, it was muscular, but it seemed like something was off about it. It had always seemed that way, since he was six…

A loud knock at his bathroom door shook Matthew from his stupor, and he began pulling his shirt on again.

“Matt, you take longer than a girl. You don’t have to look good to drive me home.” Gilbert whined, tapping his foot impatiently outside the door. When the wood swung open, he was greeted with the sight of Matthew looking sadder than when he had went in, and got concerned. Of course, he didn’t show it, because it would be totally unawesome to call his new friend out on something like that only a few days into their friendship. Gilbert knew his boundaries.

Matthew gave him a tentative smile, and told him to make sure he had everything in his bag before they left. Walking through the hallway was a blur, because as soon as they left Matthew’s room and the music coming from his stereo faded out, it was like a porno was being filmed and the sounds were coming from every direction, echoing off the walls. Matthew turned beet red as he basically sprinted out of the house with Gilbert in tow, all the way to a large garage with multiple cars parked inside.

Matthew bypassed all of the Ferraris and BMWs, and instead opened the door to a large red SUV at the end of the row. Gilbert didn’t question it until they were backing out of the garage and rounding the circle of the driveway in front of the mansion.

“Oh, I just don’t like driving something that flashy. Plus, I’d rather be driving this when Francis, Chris, and Al all call me drunk off their asses to pick them up. Hard to focus on driving straight when your cousins are competing for your attention and one is trying to kiss you.” Matthew replied nonchalantly, even though a slight shiver passed over his frame when he said the word ‘kiss.’

Gilbert snickered, looking back out the windshield to give Matthew directions to his house, but was surprised to see they were already going in the right direction. “How do you know where I live?”

Matthew seemed confused for a second, before he understood the question. “Oh, I pick up more than just my relatives. I’ve had to chauffeur quite a few people to and from parties, whether they’re at my house or not. Ludwig usually tries to find another way, but a few times I’ve brought him back. There’s usually a mass group of people that put the back seats down and just crowd in, so I know where everyone but Lukas lives.”

“Why not Lukas?”

Matthew just shrugged, going silent for the rest of the drive. When they pulled up, Gilbert was halfway out of the car when a question rang through the air. “Do I need to go and give your parents an excuse? I feel like it’s my fault you stayed out so late,” Matthew asked timidly, leaning across the console.

Gilbert stared back blankly for a moment, feeling that curl of pain coil up at the bottom of his stomach before smiling and waving Matthew off. “Nah, I got it. They probably won’t care.”

Matthew didn’t buy his nonchalant tone, but leaned back in his seat. It felt like there was something else to be said, but he didn’t know what. They stared at each other, and there was a strange sort of tension in the air. It made Matthew imagine some kind of rope tied between them, getting the first extension since they had met. But he internally shook his head, because that was silly, and they had only known each other for a few days. The moment ended as Matthew’s phone went off, the ringtone for Christian playing out.

_ Hey, teachers, leave those kids alone! _

Matthew grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “fucking dickbag,” but Gilbert didn’t call him out on it as he watched the blonde pull his phone out.

_ All in all you’re just another brick- _

“Tell me you guys didn’t set the house on fire,” Matthew pleaded into the phone. Gilbert smiled at Matthew, and shut the door. Before it closed, he heard Matthew let out an indignant, “What? It’s happened before.”

The red SUV lingered in his driveway until he closed the door behind himself, and before it pulled out, he snuck one more glance out the window beside the door to see Matthew already hanging up the phone. For a few moments the blonde lingered there, a content smile on his face as he looked at Gilbert’s house, before he switched gears and backed away. Matthew hadn’t smiled like that before, not that the albino could remember. What could have gotten to Matthew so badly that he barely smiled?

Gilbert felt sick to his stomach as he turned away from the window.


	5. Before the golden tresses of the dead,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But Gilbert was giving him this toothy grin, spread out and causing little laugh lines to spread out across his pale cheeks, the slightest hint of an excited flush on his cheekbones. Matthew saw the way the hope flashed in his newly gained friend’s eyes and sighed despairingly, looking off to the side as he realized he would do anything the boy asked him to if he had that expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So lately I have had the extreme pleasure of talking to Elizabethan, a lovely, beautiful person who paid me in art to post faster. I accepted the bribe and am now very sure that all of my fans (her especially) are amazing people and I love you all for the support. So for the cutie who used to live in the fairy tale town, I give you an update that wasn't supposed to be here for probably another 2 weeks. Enjoy, and please please please comment or something. I'm dying here.

It was raining.

 

Matthew knew that shouldn’t have surprised him, the area they lived in wasn’t some kind of desert, but when it rained - for some reason it always shocked him. That everything was covered with water, all the dirt was being washed off the sidewalk, he didn’t have to water the tulips. It was always so serene, too. Like the earth was waiting for something to happen, silent except for the soft pattering of the splashes of raindrops. Where most people might find this peaceful or enjoyable, Matthew found it...unsettling.

 

He hadn’t been able to sit in complete silence for years. When he was a kid, he remembered sitting out on the balcony outside his mother’s room, listening to the distant rumbling of thunder while she sang a lullaby softly over it. Matthew was taken back to one of those days, sitting beside his mother on one of the wicker chairs outside her room. At the time, Matthew was just four, only then becoming fluent in both languages. Mother had always praised him for learning so quickly, even though he sometimes mixed the two languages up and his sentences came out in a mix of French and English. His twin, who only knew English, hated it when he did this, because he had always refused to learn French.

 

Matthew always loved the song his mother sang to him, an old French lullaby. For some reason, however, she always became extremely sad singing it, but continued to sing it just because Matthew liked the sound of her voice. The song would ring out around them, and the rain sounded almost like it fell in tune with his mother’s voice, curling around him like a warm blanket despite the chilling curtains of water in front of him.

 

“ _ Il était un petit navire  _

_ Il était un petit navire _

_ Qui n'avait ja-ja-jamais navigué  _

_ Qui n'avait ja-ja-jamais navigué. _

_ Ohé ohé!” _

 

Matthew was always struck with just how lovely his mother was, sitting straight in her chair like the elegant woman she had been raised to be. The color of her soft blonde curls, matching his own, curling up and framing her young face with stunning violet eyes - she was a dream to anyone who approached her. And yet she chose to spend the most time with her smallest son, and made sure he was never lonely. While Alfred got to go out on playdates with others, Matthew would always stay home with mother due to his poor health. She was the only friend he needed.

 

“ _ Il entreprit un long voyage _

_ Il entreprit un long voyage _

_ Sur la mer Mé-Mé-Méditerranée _

_ Sur la mer Mé-Mé-Méditerranée. _

_ Ohé ohé.” _

 

At this point, she would always reach over and take his hand. It always gave Matthew the strange illusion that she was trying to both give him strength, while also taking some from him as well.

 

“ _ Au bout de cinq à six semaines _

_ Au bout de cinq à six semaines…” _

 

“... _ Matthew.  _ Matt. Mattie!” Alfred shouted. Matthew jerked out of his memory, looking to his twin brother. Alfred had an annoyed expression on his face, which quickly dropped once he saw Matthew’s own expression.

 

“Mattie? Why are you crying?”

 

Matthew stared back blankly for a moment, trying to sort through his own thoughts and emotions. After he realized that he was, in fact, not four years old anymore, he brought a hand up and wiped furiously at his eyes, accidentally knocking his glasses off of his face in the process.

 

“I-I’m...the rain just distracted me, it’s nothing.” Matthew replied quickly, standing from his spot at the kitchen table and grabbing his backpack. He righted his glasses on the bridge of his nose, Alfred watching suspiciously. “Let’s just go to school.”

 

Alfred was not convinced, and instead of following his twin, he crossed his arms and blocked the smaller boy’s way. He, too, got flashbacks whenever Matthew acted this way. Images of his brother, so much smaller than him cowering behind their mother. Matthew speaking so quietly you could barely hear him. Trips to the doctor, their mother talking animatedly to Alfred while Matthew just smiled softly and held his brother’s hand while they waited to be called back.

 

“We should stay home.” Alfred stated, looking down at his brother with authoritative eyes. Matthew took a moment to consider it, before shaking his head and picking up his own set of keys off the tabletop for once, deciding to just drive himself.

 

“I’m fine, Al. I just need a little time to myself. I’ll see you at school.” Matthew told him softly, walking out of their kitchen. Alfred frowned after him, and tried to remember if Matthew had ever told him anything about the rain bothering him. After coming up empty, he figured it was just another memory Matthew didn’t enjoy reliving, and decided to leave it be. He had his own problems to be concerned about, like how to apologize to Arthur.  _ Again _ .

 

Matthew enjoyed the ride to the school, with the radio turned up obscenely loud to drown out his own thoughts and keep him from pulling over and crying. He missed his mother, and that was probably what hurt him the most. But, the music did help, and soon he pulled up into the parking lot and parked his SUV next to Alfred’s usual parking space.

 

Upon walking into the school, he almost dropped all his stuff when a body with ghostly pale skin collided with his side. Matthew let out an indignant (manly) cry, and just barely managed to not fall over by the arm that wrapped around his waist. Matthew was scared, wondering what was going on, until he felt air being blown into his ear and a familiar voice saying, “Come here often?”

 

Matthew laughed as he reached up and put his hand over Gilbert’s face, shoving him away. “Do I come to school often?” he retorted, pulling his hand back to find a grin on the albino’s face that vaguely reminded him of a shark. Gilbert nodded enthusiastically, pulling his glasses off of his face to clean the lenses with the bottom of his shirt where Matthew had smudged them with his fingers as he lead Matthew down the hall to their first class together.

 

“Yeah, I’m working on my pick up game. How was that?” Gilbert asked, an amused look in his eyes as he gazed down at Matthew. The blonde just let out a little snort, turning to watch as they walked down the hallway to make sure they had no more collisions this morning.

 

“It was terrible. If anyone besides me heard that, they would probably just think you were stupid.” Matthew smirked teasingly, glancing up at Gilbert’s face as the albino slipped the black frames back into place. “Luckily I know you’re good at math, or I’d think you were a lost cause too.”

 

Gilbert laughed a little, and reached a hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. There was a short bout of silence as he sent a message while he had a small smile on his face. Matthew took in the expression, always amazed at how much the albino boy expressed his emotions so openly with just his face. He looked pretty excited at whatever he was seeing on his phone, before he locked it and shoved it back in his pocket and looking back at the smaller boy.

 

“Speaking of people who think I’m a lost cause,” Gilbert began casually, “I’m hanging out with my two best friends tonight to catch up since I moved schools. Since we all don’t have school tomorrow, I was thinking about maybe going to Veta’s party and getting just a  _ teeny tiny bit  _ stoned. You wanna come?”

 

Matthew was taken aback, and stopped in the middle of the hallway for a moment to stare at Gilbert. Honestly, he was concerned about whether or not he might make a complete fool of himself, or that Gilbert’s friends wouldn’t like him. In the past, Matthew and drugs had always mixed surprisingly well - he didn’t get emotional, and turned into basically his opposite. In Chris’ words, when the little blonde was high, it was “all about dumb shit they could do, and random things that only you could make up, Matthew.”

 

“Um, are you sure you want me to go? What if your friends don’t like me?” Matthew finally sighed, expressing his biggest concern. If Gilbert’s friends didn’t like him, wouldn’t Gilbert hate him too?

 

But Gilbert was giving him this toothy grin, spread out and causing little laugh lines to spread out across his pale cheeks, the slightest hint of an excited flush on his cheekbones. Matthew saw the way the hope flashed in his newly gained friend’s eyes and sighed despairingly, looking off to the side as he realized he would do anything the boy asked him to if he had that expression. Gilbert didn’t take the dejected breath being expelled as something good, and made a low whine in the back of his throat as he crept back into the blonde’s breathing space to catch his gaze and poke out his bottom lip in a pout pleadingly. Matthew made a sound between a dying dolphin and an alpaca burning alive, and mumbled an assent that caused Gilbert to let out a victory cheer as he steered Matthew into their first class.

 

Of course, they received a threat from the teacher the sixth time Matthew let out a giggle poorly suppressed by his hoodie sleeves when Gilbert reached back to grab at his knee and tickle the back of it. It was an extremely ticklish spot for Matthew, and he quickly found himself no longer caring if the teacher got mad. His time with Gilbert was just a little too golden to give a shit in his mind.

 

The day dragged on for the both after they separated until they were reunited at lunch and the class immediately following it. It seemed Gilbert didn’t care much for being separated for the last class, so Matthew was constantly checking his phone under his desk in AP Biology. He almost screamed when in the middle of reading a text Francis leaned over from his side of the lab table, in the middle of explaining something to another student who had came up to him for help, and in the middle, shouted the word “VERTEBRAE!” right in Matthew’s ear.

 

Matthew dropped his phone with a surprised grunt, turning to glare darkly at his cousin and bending over slowly to pick up his phone without breaking eye contact. Francis only smiled and finished his explanation to the other guy before turning to the slighter blonde. “You two have been attached at the hip all day. Pray tell, do the two of you have something  _ special _ going on?” Francis wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, leaning over and blatantly trying to read the messages on Matthew’s screen.

 

The lavender-eyed boy simply locked his phone, shoving it in his hoodie pocket. He had a distinct air of secrecy around him as he looked away, something that only enticed Francis as he propped his head up on his hand and batted his eyes while Matthew responded.

 

“None of your business.” he stated matter-of-factly.

 

“Oh ho ho, so you do have plans! Could it be you both finally realized that you are undeniably attracted to one another and decided to go on a date and explore all the wonders of  _ l’amour _ ?” Francis teased, taking satisfaction as he pressed all of his little cousin’s buttons in exactly the wrong way. A blush spread all the way up to Matthew’s ears, threatening to spill down his neck at any more implications. He made a noise of mock disgust and deliberated if he wanted to chance a response in English or just deal out violent insults in French.

 

“There’s nothing going on between us,” Matthew snapped, sniffing immediately after he spoke, causing the little upturn at the end of his nose to twitch in the slightest. Francis caught it, and a lazy smirk stretched across his lips as Matthew anxiously glanced at the clock and pulled his phone out of his pocket again as it vibrated.

 

As he read whatever was on the screen, the blush finally poured over the back of Matthew’s neck, leaving him a shade lighter than his hoodie. Francis cautiously leaned closer, peeking at the messages, but unable to read them with the brightness of the screen dropped as low as it could go. Matthew really was too prepared for his own good.

 

“ _ Au contraire, mon ami _ ,” Francis quipped, “you seem to have a lot going on on your end.”

 

“ _ Va te faire foutre,”  _ (Kiss my ass) was the only response Matthew graced him with.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Gilbert bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet beside the red SUV, Matthew having told him during lunch that he had happened to drive himself that day. This meant they didn’t need to linger around waiting for Ludwig or Alfred to get around to both their houses, they could just run by Matthew’s and pick up extra clothes and then go to Elizaveta’s place. (Gilbert’s clothes from the weekend were clean, so he could just use those.)

 

However, despite the information that they could leave faster, Gilbert had already seen both of their brothers leave, and Matthew still had not emerged from the doors of the school. Just as he was considering going in to find his friend, Matthew walked out of the school, looking a little angry as an evil looking Francis trailed behind him. It looked like they were in an argument (well, Matthew was, Francis just looked like he was going to piss himself in laughter).

“Awww, Mathieu, don’t get so angry over something so small! It happens to all of us at some point!” Francis called, slightly jogging to keep up with the speed-walking shy boy on his way to his car.

 

“Go away, Francis. Nobody asked you.” Matthew seethed, fast approaching a confused albino. Francis only smiled wider, now looking lecherous as he pushed just a little faster and slung an arm over his little Mattie’s shoulders.

 

Francis leaned down, barely dodging the hand being shoved in his face to press his lips to Matthew’s ear to whisper lowly before running away to his own car, “ _ Juste l'embrasser. _ ” (Just kiss [him].)

 

Matthew turned 15 shades of red, leaving Gilbert wondering just what Francis had whispered as Matthew stomped towards the car, a look of embarrassment and fury on his face. Gilbert knew well enough by now that if Matthew wanted to talk about something he would bring it up, and Gilbert actually didn’t want to bother Matthew in his angered state. 

 

It was kind of hot.

 

The drive to Matthew’s house was, for the most part, quiet. That is, until Gilbert started making farting noises extremely loudly into the crook of his elbow, sending Matthew into a fit of laughter that eased his frazzled nerves at the sheer immaturity the German boy possessed.

 

They quickly gathered their clothes and other little things they would need (“Are you sure there isn’t another toothbrush?”) before heading back out, Gilbert directing Matthew around until they were back on his old turf. Matthew noticed that on this end of town, much more people were out and about with their friends. Maybe it was because Alfred had always brought everyone to their house. Either way, it didn’t effect him until Gilbert grabbed his arm and urgently told him to slow down as they approached a couple on the sidewalk.

 

Gilbert quickly rolled down his window, and leaned half his body out to shout at the couple. At first glance, it seemed to be a boy and a girl, but upon further inspection, he realized it was a meek looking boy and another boy wearing a poofy skirt that was a dark blue and matched nicely with his peach-colored tunic. The only thought that crossed Matthew’s mind at that moment was that he had good taste.

 

“FELIKS!” Gilbert yelled, getting the skirt-wearing boy’s attention, who whipped his head in their direction as they slowly passed. Matthew jumped slightly in his seat.

 

“Gilly!” he squealed, grabbing the other boy’s arm and making him walk in the same direction as the SUV.

 

“Are you guys going to Veta’s tonight?” Gilbert asked, now only speaking loudly as he was almost right in front of them. Feliks reached out a hand to give Gilbert a high-five as they passed, nodding enthusiastically. A car honked behind them.

 

“Totally! We’re gonna be late, but we’ll get there, like, as fast as we can!” Feliks replied in a bright tone. He waved as they drove away, “See ya, Gilly!”

 

Gilbert laughed, waving back before sitting back in his seat and waving forward with his hand to indicate that Matthew could speed up again. The blonde complied quickly, seeing a rather unfriendly gesture from the frustrated driver behind them in the rearview mirror.

 

“Are they your friends?” Matthew asked, feeling redundant. Of course they were, but it only felt right to ask. Gilbert smirked, pointing out the next turn a block ahead of them.

 

“Yeah, Feliks is one of Veta’s best friends, and, you know, Veta’s my bestie, so they were always around. Feliks is on a completely different level than anyone else I’ve ever met, and the other guy was Toris. He is the only person who can handle all of the...Feliks. All the Feliks.” Gilbert gushed, obviously enjoying talking about his friends. It almost mirrored the look he got when talking about Ludwig, but slightly less intense.

 

Matthew gave a contented hum in response, trying to think of a response. He didn’t get the chance, as Gilbert started basically vibrating in his seat, pointing at a modest-sized two story at the end of the block that had about 3 cars parked in the yard. “That’s Veta’s house!”

 

Matthew pulled into the yard, parking next to a little white pontiac that seemed vaguely familiar as he took out his keys. It hit him as Gilbert opened his door and got out in an ecstatic hurry that he had no clue what he was walking into. He could barely get attention from his brother’s friends, who had known him most of his life, but he was about to walk into a house full of strangers and expect them to like him. His palms started sweating and he swore at his own stupidity as Gilbert opened the trunk and picked up their duffel bags.

 

It was as Gilbert was walking up to the front door that he realized Matthew hadn’t followed him, and was instead still sitting in the driver’s seat with a petrified look on his face. Gilbert dropped the bags on the porch before going back to Matthew’s side of the car with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He opened the door, poking Matthew’s arm as it swung open.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong, Mattie?”

 

Matthew managed a shaky smile, turning to Gilbert and trying to not feel guilty at the worry obvious on the albino’s face. “Maybe I should go. I mean, they don’t know me, and I’ll probably just get in the way. Plus, there’s no reason for them to like me, I don’t even know why you’re still around, I’m not interesting…” Matthew continued to rant, bringing himself down more and more as his speech progressed. Gilbert was fairly sure this was the most Matthew had ever talked. He continued listing all the reasons he should go, holding the steering wheel in a death grip and talking too fast for Gilbert to keep up.

 

Gilbert suddenly remembered something Alfred had told him his first day.  _ “ _ _ He’s very self-conscious, and we - he, especially, went through some tough stuff right as we came into high school. You don’t need to worry about it.” _

 

_ Don’t need to worry about it, my ass _ , Gilbert thought as he put one of his own hands over Matthew’s on the wheel. The blonde immediately ceased his rambling, looking at their hands with wide eyes. Gilbert reached across Matthew’s body and unbuckled his seatbelt silently, trying not to startle the boy in front of him, lest he actually drive away.

 

In the spur of the moment, he wrapped his arm around Matthew’s waist and pulled him halfway out of the car, letting go of his hand to wrap both arms around the smaller boy. He pulled him in tight, taking deep breaths to calm Matthew’s erratic breathing. There was a moment where nothing happened, before the blonde hugged him back just as tightly, sliding out of the car and pinning himself between Gilbert and the car.

 

“They’re not gonna hate you, I promise,” Gilbert swore.

 

Matthew nodded weakly against his shoulder, pulling back as much as he could to rub at his cheeks in embarrassment, obviously ashamed at his behaviour. Gilbert understood a break from the intense atmosphere was needed.

 

“Besides, it’s impossible for them to not like you, anyway.” he commented, letting Matthew step away from the car so he could close the door. Matthew debated taking the bait or not, but only for a second, before he gave in and asked.

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

Gilbert smirked cockily, throwing an arm around Matthew’s shoulders and leading him towards the porch, the faint sounds of music seeping through the walls as they got closer. “I’m the most awesome person they know. I have way better taste in friends than any of them do, they’d be dumb not to like you.”

 

Matthew snorted at Gilbert’s arrogance as he scooped up both of their bags in one hand on the way to the door. “Right. I keep forgetting that no one can oppose his royal highness Gilbert Beilschmidt, King of Awesome.” Matthew leered, ducking out from under the albino’s arm to stand behind him. Gilbert knocked on the door, a manic look in his eye as he turned back to Matthew.

 

“I like that. Can you refer to me as ‘Your Highness’ from now on?” he asked, totally serious. Matthew rolled his eyes, reaching out to playfully punch Gilbert’s arm. He caught the fist, straightening his back to an aristocratic posture, puffing out his chest and squaring his shoulders. He turned his nose up at Matthew, looking down at him in mock disdain.

 

“What’s so funny, peasant?” he asked, voice going nasal and snobby as he flung Matthew’s hand away from himself like it had a disease. Matthew burst into laughter, taking a step back to get a good look at Gilbert’s full pose. Gilbert didn’t react to his laughter, only letting out a small ‘hmph!’ and turning to the door as they heard footsteps approaching.

 

“To think I almost asked such a disrespectful plebian to be my  _ consort _ ,” Gilbert scoffed, peeking over his shoulder at the cackling blonde behind him. “You’re not worthy of serving royal blood!”

 

Matthew lost it, trying to cover his mouth and leaning his forehead against the back of Gilbert’s arm as he struggled to gain breathe. Gilbert gasped indignantly, submerged in his role, twisting to hold Matthew out at arm’s length.

 

“I am the King!  _ How dare such a low class creature breathe upon my gorgeous alabaster skin!” _ Gilbert proclaimed, only slightly breaking character as Matthew took in gasping breaths, cracking a small smirk.

 

“G-Gil, please,” he spluttered, bringing up a hand to wrap around his wrist for support, “I c-can’t take it!”

 

The door opened behind them to reveal a girl with light brown hair, staring at the two bemusedly before she lit up and almost tackled Gilbert away from Matthew. “Gilbert!” she screeched.

 

Matthew’s laughter stopped abruptly, trying to regain his breath so he could make a good impression. Gilbert hugged her back, swinging her body around in a circle before dropping her like dead weight very suddenly. The girl didn’t even flinch, landing perfectly in a routine manner. She turned to Matthew, holding out a hand for him to shake. 

 

“I’m Elizaveta, but you can call me anything you want, as long as it kind of sounds like my name. You must be Matthew.” Matthew hesitantly took her hand, and she leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered, “He never shuts up about you.”

 

Matthew flushed as Gilbert let out a whine, shoving Elizaveta in the shoulder towards the door. Gilbert peeked at Matthew’s expression, and seeing the elated smile, he decided to see how far he could play this out.

 

As they entered the house, the music became louder. It wasn’t so high that Matthew couldn’t hear himself think, like one of Alfred’s parties, but at the perfect level that you could hear the words and sing along or have a conversation over it without being bothered. The decor of the house was all warm colors, dark reds and browns that made you feel right at home. Elizaveta led them to the kitchen, and offered to take their bags before leaving briefly to put them in a bedroom upstairs after confirming they could share a room if they didn’t pass out on the couch first. 

 

Left alone, Gilbert pulled Matthew into his side, taking pleasure in the soft flush gracing the blonde’s soft features. He leaned down and whispered directly in Matthew’s ear, “You seemed pretty happy with what Veta said back there. You like it when I tell people about you?”

 

Matthew shivered, trying and failing to shift around and get Gilbert’s breath off his ear as they walked to the living room, where several people were scattered around on couches and in the floor. He sighed in relief when the albino leaned out of his bubble to greet people, but still having an arm snug around his shoulders. Gilbert introduced him to multiple people, paying specific attention to a boy waiting for Elizaveta to come back.

 

“This is Roddy, the stick up me and Elizaveta’s ass.” Gilbert stated, gesturing to a boy relaxing on the loveseat. The boy looked up, adjusting his glasses to focus on them. Matthew almost gasped because, damn, this boy was gorgeous. “He has no fun, doesn’t know what the word fun even  _ means _ , he’s bitchy and likes to point out everything wro-”

 

The boy abruptly stood and slapped Gilbert across the face without warning, making Matthew flinch and look to see if Gilbert was hurt, but only saw a grin where he assumed a grimace would be. The boy pulled Matthew’s attention back to him by grabbing his hand and shaking it quickly before relaxing back into the couch cushions. “I’m Roderich, and I’m not a stick up the ass. Gilbert is just an obnoxious asshole. And for the record,” he snapped, turning to Gilbert, “if I am such a stick up the ass, how come Elizaveta is still dating me?”

 

“No clue,” Gilbert sneered back, but Matthew could tell now that this was just their own interaction and way of showing they cared. He tugged at Gilbert’s sleeve to get his attention again. 

 

“Can we sit somewhere? My legs are tired from driving.”

 

Gilbert smiled and chirped out a “Sure!” leading him back towards the kitchen. “Let’s just grab something to drink first.” Matthew complied, not knowing what else to do. Gilbert was busy pouring their drinks, so Matthew leaned against the counter and tried to count in his head just how many people were here. He looked off in thought, not really focusing on anything until he heard a familiar voice call out a nickname no one had used on him for a few months. 

 

If this nickname had come from the first person to call him that, he probably would have bailed on the party immediately. But the voice that did call it was much more feminine, and was a welcome change from all the voices of strangers.

 

“Matvey!” she called, surprise coloring her tone as she smiled brightly and walked over with a blunt in her hand. She was dressed in a pair of dark high-waisted shorts and a grey jersey crop top, hair thrown up in a starlight-colored ponytail with the usual navy ribbon tied to it. This was, of course, the girl’s natural habitat. This was a familiar sight, and sent Matthew reminiscing about all the nights spent in her basement getting high while talking about everything and nothing. This definitely explained the familiar pontiac out front.

 

“Natvey!” Matthew called back jokingly, pushing off the counter to give her a hug. Gilbert looked on with mild interest. He had met the girl before, but she was never usually this friendly to anyone but her closest friends. He’d also never heard anyone call her by a nickname without almost getting their heads ripped off before, but Matthew said it almost as if it was natural, the girl giving a light giggle at the inside joke. Gilbert frowned, pausing and setting down the bottle of rum he was about to pour into his coke to pay more attention. Were they attracted to each other?

 

They hugged tightly, a little too tightly for Gilbert’s taste, both giving crooked smiles as they pulled away. The albino’s eyes narrowed as she offered her joint to Matthew, who graciously accepted it without question. He took a long drag and blew it out on Natalya’s face, laughing as she coughed and smacked his arm.

 

“The same as always, Matvey.” she teased, snatching her joint back and placing it back between her lips, where it seemed to always be every time Gilbert had met her. So Matthew had stoner friends?

 

Matthew smiled back, and shifted just a little closer to Natalya. The movement was so minute, only a person as watchful over the exchange as Gilbert would have noticed. There was an air of comfort surrounding the two. While this somewhat irked Gilbert (because she might be competition for Mattie’s heart and attention), it also just made him happy to see Matthew so comfortable and open around someone other than family.

 

“It’s only been...I don’t know, actually. I remember sneaking over to get sloshed one weekend when it was only you and Kat, but that was almost a year and a half ago, wasn’t it?” Matthew recalled, tilting his head in concentration. He looked like a confused puppy, to both Natalya and Gilbert.

 

“Da, that sounds right. I would say we could do it again, but ever since the age of Yao began...God. He never leaves.” Natalya muttered, voice turning into a frustrated whine at the end. “I can’t go a full 24 hours without seeing or hearing some form of that Chinese  пизда ([ _ pronounced piz`da _ ] cunt). They’re always skyping or on the phone or texting. Annoying as fuck.”

 

Matthew laughed at the Russian swear, knowing that Natalya only said insults in her mother tongue if she really meant them. In most cases, she would just say them to your face in English, but if she really and truly disliked someone, she would only insult them in another language. “Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad.”

 

Natalya wrinkled up her nose, taking a deep drag before blowing the smoke out through her nostrils, effectively expressing the rage she felt towards the Chinese boy being discussed. She opened her mouth to respond, but snapped it shut to look behind her and glare directly at the observing albino.

 

“Can we help you? I don’t believe you were invited to listen in,” she inquired. Gilbert was about to give a snappy reply, but Matthew cut in.

 

“Oh, no, that’s Gil. He brought me here, we’re friends.” Matthew explained, gesturing at his friend with a warm smile. Gilbert grinned back, before turning to the girl and waiting for her response. Natalya looked between the two suspiciously, placing her blunt in between her lips and crossing her arms across her chest. She knew about some of the people who had pretended to be Matthew’s ‘friends’ before, and the admission that they were acquainted did next to nothing in her eyes. Ever since all the shit they went through her eighth grade year, Natalya had cared more about Matthew than she had her own brother, and was fiercely protective of him.

 

“So you hang out with creepy red-eyed bitches when no one else is around?” Natalya remarked in a smaller voice meant only for Mattie to hear, “Kinky.” Matthew snorted in amusement, pushing at her shoulder lightly. Gilbert scowled.

 

“He’s not creepy, and he’s not a bitch,” Matthew admonished. “Be nice.”

 

Natalya grumbled something under her breath that sounded somewhat like, “Over my fucking dead body,” but Matthew didn’t comment, instead turning to Gilbert. The albino seemed to light  up at finally having Matthew’s attention again, making Natalya scoff. He looked like a puppy, now all he needed was for his tail to pop out and wag. Since when did Matthew hang out with anyone besides his family? Was this freak using her Mattie? There was a certain glimmer in his eyes that led her to believe he might actually care, not to mention how Matthew looked back like he was staring at the stars - 

 

Oh. Now she understood. A slow smirk cracked her cheeks as she glanced briefly between the two before facing her friend.

 

“I’ll be in the basement getting baked if you need me, Matvey,” she simpered, and just to spite the boy who so obviously had a crush on one of her most precious family members, she stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips into Matthew’s cheek. Natalya lingered for a moment, mouth letting out a soft breath against the blonde’s cheek as she looked over to make eye contact with a fuming German. The threat, the  _ challenge _ , was all too clear in her eyes to Gilbert. Pulling away, she noticed  that Matthew looked totally unphased, which was to be expected. Not like Matthew had ever come close to swinging her way.

 

Matthew noticed Gilbert’s anger, and began trying to coax it out of him as Natalya left, but the boy only pouted and said nothing. The Russian girl rolled her eyes so hard she thought they would fall out of her head as she opened the basement door.

  
_ Idiots,  _ she thought,  _ just kiss already. _


	6. The right of sepulchres, were shorn away,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert dropped his head on Matthew’s shoulder, and took a drag before peeking up at the blonde’s face. He stared blankly for a moment, before he snuggled in closer and wrapped an arm around Matthew’s waist and put his chin on his shoulder to speak directly in his ear.
> 
> “I’m thinking about you shirtless wrapped up in a really fluffy blanket. I think...that’s a good idea. You should do that. On my bed.” Gilbert explained. He gestured vaguely, his hand swinging through the air and making ash fall onto his bare knee, which he flicked off before bringing the joint back to his lips. Matthew didn’t really react outwardly, but thought quietly about the pros and cons of such a situation while simultaneously wondering what color Gilbert’s bedspread was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG I'M TRASH. I like to be a couple chapters ahead but I just now finished writing chapter 7, so I finally felt safe to post chapter 6. Anyway, there was a huuuggee lack of response on the last chapter, and school has also started back up. I'm pretty good at juggling everything, but due to both of these my updates will probably slow down. If comments and such pick back up I'll try and write more often, but as it is now, this will be more of a write-when-feel-like-it kind of thing. I am still very much in love with this story, and have full intentions to finish it, so the updates won't stop, but they'll just be fewer and farther between.
> 
> Anyways, this is the big chapter where a lot of plot development happens, so enjoy! Please comment and give me fuel to write! Your love feeds me.

Gilbert seemed to be angry about something, but after ten minutes of trying to get it out of him, Matthew gave up and just let the other boy pout. They now sat in the living room, talking to Elizaveta and Roderich while a boy named Sadiq made sure everyone had a steady supply of weed. Smoke curled in heavy strands towards the ceiling, and floated in wisps out of people’s mouths as casual conversations carried on throughout the room. Matthew, halfway gone, was beginning to find it funny how Gilbert had been so upset just a minute ago but was now laughing hysterically at Elizaveta’s dick joke while Roderich just leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

 

It was actually really peaceful to Matthew, watching Gilbert laugh with his best friend. It was like all was right in Gilbert’s world, his eyes lit up with this mischievous fire that was only present with Elizaveta fueling it. Although Matthew would typically be jealous of how she had such an obvious effect on the albino, all that the lavender-eyed boy could think of was how nice it would be if Elizaveta and Gilbert were always together like they had been before he moved schools. Would Gilbert always smile so wide? Would he have those little crinkles around his eyes all the time? Would his voice be so rich with happiness and mirth, his irises flooded with the same emotions Matthew got around Alfred? This was obviously a place Gilbert belonged, and even though he knew that Gilbert had left of his own accord, it somehow felt wrong to pull him away from it.

 

Taking a long drag, his eyes drifted across the room absently, drifting over random people and couples making out, and the slowly growing amount of people just laying in the floor staring at the wall that held a rather colorful painting. Finally they came back to rest on Gilbert, who seemed to drag his attention back more the higher he got. Blowing a puff of smoke in the pale boy’s general direction, Matthew wondered selfishly when he could have him all to himself again. It was a paradox to Matthew: he loved how much Gilbert belonged in this room, didn’t want to disturb his obvious happiness, yet also wanted nothing more than Gilbert’s undivided attention.

 

Roderich’s head raised quietly, finally coming back into the conversation at hearing Elizaveta laugh hysterically while Gilbert complained about dropping his cigarette on the carpet. He shook his girlfriend’s arm, and upon getting her attention, his face colored with a deep blush. The words he said next were so straightforward, Matthew choked on his exhale and had to struggle to keep a hold on his own joint so it wouldn’t end up like Gilbert’s.

 

“Eliza, I want to have sex. Now.” Roderich whined, trying to stand slowly. Elizaveta tilted her head, confused for a minute before realization dawned on her. She leaned over to Gil, acting as if she was going to whisper as she hid her mouth behind her hand so the others couldn’t read her lips.

 

“GILBERT! HE’S GONNA PUT HIS PENIS INSIDE OF ME!” she shouted, almost falling over as she burst out in a fit of giggles. Roderich grunted and pulled her off the couch by her arm, not paying attention to Gilbert as he guffawed. Matthew was trying his best not to laugh, nervous about the disgruntled expression on Roderich’s face.

 

When they finally left the room, Gilbert picked up his now unlit blunt, and snatched a lighter off the table to light it again before turning back to the cute blonde beside him. He scooted closer, which made Matthew blush for no reason. They were close all the time, but he was high and he didn’t give a shit. He could  blush if he god damned wanted to. Fuck the rules.  _ Fuck everything. _

 

Gilbert dropped his head on Matthew’s shoulder, and took a drag before peeking up at the blonde’s face. He stared blankly for a moment, before he snuggled in closer and wrapped an arm around Matthew’s waist and put his chin on his shoulder to speak directly in his ear.

 

“I’m thinking about you shirtless wrapped up in a really fluffy blanket. I think...that’s a good idea. You should do that. On my bed.” Gilbert explained. He gestured vaguely, his hand swinging through the air and making ash fall onto his bare knee, which he flicked off before bringing the joint back to his lips. Matthew didn’t really react outwardly, but thought quietly about the pros and cons of such a situation while simultaneously wondering what color Gilbert’s bedspread was. Probably neon orange. It made perfect sense, it would look like a really big traffic cone - a traffic cone made of pillows. The hotel in Cars had buildings that looked like traffic cones.  _ Oh my god. _

 

“Fuck, Gilly, how much would it cost to make a traffic cone that big?” Matthew gasped, turning and bumping noses with the albino in his haste. He had to know the truth. He didn’t even pause, going on as he was struck with the idea of painting them something other than orange. “We could paint them any color we wanted! Like, um, I could paint one white to match your hair, or like, red to match my hoodie...why am I always wearing the same hoodie, Gilbert?”

 

Gilbert grinned, giving Matthew an eskimo kiss. “Dunno, Birdie. You can have one of mine, you know. Oh, you’re not a bird...you just look like my bird. Gilbird.”

 

Matthew nuzzled back into the eskimo kiss, not even questioning why they were rubbing noses. Probably a bird mating dance, since they were both birds.  _ Holy shit _ ...they were birds. That means Gilbird was Gilbert’s  _ dad _ , right? How could they get married without his approval?

 

Matthew put a hand on the side of Gilbert’s face, pausing the brushing of noses. He leaned back slightly, giving Gilbert his most serious face as he looked into his crimson irises. “Gilly, I’m sorry.” Gilbert looked confused for a moment, going to touch their noses again. He had been enjoying that. Matthew continued, “We can’t get married yet. I have to meet Gilbird and get his app- aplooval. Approval. His approval. Since he’s your bird daddy and everything. Bird ritual and all that.”

 

Gilbert nodded solemnly, understanding the seriousness of the situation. He sighed deeply with regret, touching the tips of their noses together again. Natalya came in, looking for Matthew, and was greeted with their disgusting display of affection. They didn’t seem to be doing anything other than trying to phase their nostrils together, though.

 

“You’re right,” she heard Gilbert admit glumly, “we have to get the bird daddy’s approval.” Natalya was thoroughly disturbed, and walked up to the back of the couch. Why couldn’t they get it over already?

 

She snapped her fingers, realizing her own genius right as she got behind them. Neither noticed her as she recalled something she had seen on the internet once, some funny video she watched about 20 times when no one else was around. She got down on her knees behind the backrest, so that her face was on the same level as their from the side. They were too busy trying to cross their eyes looking down at their noses to notice her putting one hand on the back of their heads.

 

“Now...kiss!” she exclaimed excitedly, smooshing them together so they locked lips. Both looked extremely surprised, eyes going wide, before Gilbert relaxed and took over, running a comforting hand down Matthew’s back to help him unwind. Matthew stayed still for a moment more, just long enough for Gilbert to get confused and pull back slightly, before putting both hands on the albino’s jaw and dragging him back in for a more graphic kiss. Natalya wrinkled her nose in disgust, but stood up and wandered back towards the basement (i.e. smoke cave). Her job was done for the night.

 

~*~*~*~

 

Alfred blew out a puff of air as he tapped his foot rapidly against his floor. The highlight of his day had been the kiss he snuck onto Arthur’s cheek before they started fighting and, consequently, stopped talking. The fight was so petty, too. Arthur had complained that Alfred got into his space too much, Alfred took it to heart and asked if his boyfriend would just like to not be touched, always trying to be the perfect boyfriend and honestly confused. Arthur had gotten very upset, even though the taller boyfriend thought he was giving the other what he wanted, and Arthur had avoided him for the rest of the day.

 

The only reason Alfred didn’t give up despite his inability to please his boyfriend was the fact that he had witnessed a far worse relationship in the past. Not his own, thank goodness , but it had still been ugly enough that he could imagine what it might have felt like. It had been Matthew’s last relationship, and had went down in flames fairly quickly when Ivan had failed to understand the circumstances surrounding Matthew’s childhood and skittishness. The Russian had chalked it up to just a personality trait of being shy.

 

It stressed Alfred out immensely just remembering it, and how he had never realized what all those late nights where Matthew came to his room to talk about his insecurities were about. The only person who had noticed what was going on wasn’t even close to Matthew, in fact, he hardly remembered his name most of the time. But the night that Lukas had asked to speak to him alone, Alfred had known something was up, because the Norwegian boy preferred to avoid conversation with Alfred at all costs if it was possible. He had always been open about the fact that the only reason he hung out at the twins’ house was because of Mathias, Tino, and Berwald being there. He was the only one who had ever figured out all of their family’s secrets without any help, and the fact that he was so perceptive was both Alfred’s gate to understanding and something that kept him up some nights. Lukas told Alfred everything that had been going on, all the things he had been too dense to notice, and how he had figured it out.

 

Apparently in all those nights spent sitting off by himself while the others played video games or got intoxicated, Lukas had found something of interest to observe, and that happened to be Matthew and Ivan’s interactions, which usually happened either in the back corner of whatever room the rest of the group was in or in the room Ivan had been given just down the hallway, conveniently located next to the bathroom most people used when they were over. Lots of pieces of the Jones family’s past was a blank space that nobody part of it wanted to fill in. Ivan and Matthew’s interactions were just the tip of the iceberg. The majority of these seemed innocent to someone just glancing at the two, which is what most did. But Lukas had noticed the tremors in Matthew’s hands when Ivan asked if they could go to his room, or when he would try to kiss the smaller boy somewhere other than his mouth. The waver in Matthew’s voice when he asked if Ivan wouldn’t rather just stay out with everyone else instead.

 

For the most part, Ivan never seemed angered by this, mostly either confused or hurt. He always got the same kicked-puppy-dog look, like Matthew was saying something besides wanting to be with all their friends. Lukas, at first, assumed it was just a lack of communication, but after what was supposed to be a quick trip to the bathroom, he had heard something that got big pieces of the puzzle that was the Jones household to click into place.

 

_ “Matvey, I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt, I promise.” Ivan pleaded, “Is there a reason why you’re scared for me to see you like this?” _

 

_ There was a brief pause before Matthew spoke up, voice obviously showing discomfort. “I just don’t want to. My body isn’t nice to see, it’s…there’s something, not wrong, but just  _ off  _ about my body…” _

 

_ A long sigh came from Ivan before some ruffling noises and a whine of discontentment from Matthew. “Look, Matvey, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s lovely, I love it. See?” _

 

_ A long silence saturated with the tension of something coming lasted for about a full minute, before finally Matthew said the words that let Lukas understand. “Please stop touching me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for something like this, but you have to stop touching me. Now.” _

 

It had sent a shock through Lukas’ entire body, and he quickly detoured to use a different bathroom. Hearing the muffled conversation had been more than enough information for him, and he wanted to somehow forget about it and extract himself from the situation before he got too involved.

 

However, Lukas was curious, and the next time he spent the night at their house a few weeks later, he caught Matthew alone on a morning after he had been with Ivan. The little blonde was just sitting out on the balcony by the loft, softly humming a song. Lukas hadn’t made his presence known yet, sitting on a chair just to the side of the large doors opening to the balcony and just barely out of Matthew’s sight as he listened in. Soon, the humming escalated to actual singing. It was entirely in another language, French, and while Lukas didn’t understand it, he could tell it was beautiful, sounding like a children’s song or lullaby.

 

“ _ Les vivres vin-vin-vinrent à manquer _

_ Les vivres vin-vin-vinrent à manquer.”  _

 

_ Matthew sang so lightly, his voice almost being carried away by the breeze. It was so soft, so sweet, and ever so slightly sad that Lukas felt like he was somehow intruding into Matthew’s life in some kind of unacceptable way. _

 

_ “On tira-z-à la courte paille _

_ On tira-z-à la courte paille _

_ Pour savoir qui-qui-qui serait mangé _

_ Pour savoir qui-qui-qui serait mangé. _

_ Ohé ohé!” _

 

_ Matthew paused slightly, and it was terrifyingly quiet for a moment, before he started up again. His voice had reached a point where the softness and sweetness were far overshadowed by the sadness, and made Lukas feel like he was seeing some ugly side to the boy no one else was meant to see, ever. _

 

_ “Le sort tomba sur le plus jeune _

_ Le sort tomba sur le plus jeune _

_ Bien qu'il ne fût pas très épais…” _

 

_ Matthew stopped altogether, voice thick with emotion and looking on the verge of tears as he stared out into their back yard. Finally, Lukas made himself known, standing and speaking up. “That was beautiful,” he informed, watching Matthew jump in his seat and turn to him as he shuffled over to him on the balcony. “What is it?” _

 

_ Matthew narrowed his eyes a moment before looking past Lukas at something, at another separate balcony connected to a bedroom farther down the side of the house. You couldn’t see inside of the sliding glass doors because of a set of light purple curtains pulled closed behind them, leaving only a pair of wicker rocking chair out on the fenced balcony to look at, both seeming old and covered in a layer of dirt. _

 

_ “It’s a lullaby my mother used to sing to me every day, usually when we were sitting out there and reading books together. It’s called ‘Il était un petit navire,’ or ‘There was a Little Ship.’” Matthew mumbled, pulling his too large hoodie (probably Alfred or Ivan’s) closer over his lithe body. _

 

_ Lukas nodded in understanding, turning to look at the chairs Matthew talked about. There was a silent moment before he inquired, “Did she sing it to Alfred, too, or was it only you?” _

 

_ Matthew brought his eyes down to glance at the space between them, obviously not used to being asked about the subject. Lukas casually sat down in the seat next to him, pulling his legs up to sit criss cross so he would be comfortable. He felt like this was going to take more than a few minutes. _

 

_ “Well, Alfred never tried to learn French, so he wouldn’t have understood it anyway. Our mother was very impartial with her attention to the two of us, but so was dad. Maman always spent more time with me than Al, but there was a reason behind it. When we were young, I was really sick all the time. I ended up staying home a lot when Alfred would go out for play dates, and didn’t have any friends my age besides him and Francis, but even Franny wasn’t here until we were almost six.” Matthew looked thoughtful, almost like he was getting lost in his memories as the wind gently blew his wavy hair away from his face. “Maman homeschooled me for my first two years of school, and I only went out for doctor’s appointments and shopping with her. Alfred would tag along to the doctor, but he only got to go shopping too when he needed something. We still slept in the same bed every night until dad made us stop in the sixth grade, but damn if we didn’t put up a fight even then.” Matthew let out a short, humorless chuckle at the memory. He tried to pull the hoodie tighter, if possible. It was clear now that it was Alfred’s, as there was a little embroidered part with his name on it. Probably a jacket from playing baseball. _

 

_ “Francis was the first friend I had that I hadn’t known my whole life. Maman let him join in my homeschooling until he had learned to speak English properly, but then it was back to just me and my mother every day. She didn’t like if I went out to play with Francis or Alfred if she wasn’t there.” Matthew frowned, eyes closing. “She didn’t like me playing with anyone, really. She liked it best if I stayed in with her, because she thought dad didn’t love her anymore. He was out working all the time, and that’s the reason we’re so well off now, but he didn’t spend a lot of time at home. When he was home, he usually did something with Alfred or attempted to do something with me. Maman didn’t like that either. She said she was the only friend I needed. She said...I was the only friend she needed.” _

 

_ Lukas felt bile rising in his throat as all his suspicions were confirmed. He had figured it all out, and desperately wished he hadn’t come out here. He wished he’d never overheard the conversation, noticed Matthew’s nerves, never even stepped foot in this house. He felt himself grimace before Matthew looked back up at him, and when they made eye contact he knew. Matthew knew he had figured it out. Neither spoke a word, Matthew only making a hoarse noise in the back of his throat before burying his face in his hands. He’d said too much. _

 

_ “She...she went out for a drive after her and dad had an argument. It was in the middle of the night.” Matthew let out a sob, “Sh-she told him what h-happened right before she left. She s-said it was his fault it happened, and l-left. And she n-never came back, she got in a c-crash and died.” _

 

_ Lukas took in a shuddering breath before he felt a hot stinging behind his own eyes as he tilted his head back and stared at the sky, trying to focus on the clouds and convince himself he had never had this conversation. He didn’t want to know any of this. He didn’t want to get involved. _

 

_ Finally he leaned forward again, and awkwardly put a hand on Matthew’s arm to drag it back down and look him in his one exposed eye. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, okay? But I think...I think you might need to tell Ivan, or break up with him, before it gets any worse. This isn’t something you should be trying to handle on your own.” _

 

That’s how Alfred had been exposed to all that was happening without his knowing. Lukas had obviously understood that he, Francis, and Christian knew what had happened all those years ago. Lukas had pulled Alfred to the side and explained what was happening to Matthew and Ivan, and the developments he had observed. His exact words to Alfred had been, “I don’t usually get involved or help people like this, but Matthew...he’s a good person.”

 

So Alfred had started watching the relationship too, and lost a relationship with a girl named Michelle due to not being able to give her enough attention while he made sure his twin was okay. A week or two after Lukas had approached him, and Matthew had completely ignored the advice given to him about Ivan, the arguments started. (Matthew was more afraid than anything. He truly loved Ivan, but this was something he wasn’t sure even love could overcome.)

 

They always began with Ivan somehow accusing Matthew of not loving him, or not caring enough to put as much effort into their relationship as he did. Matthew would always try to keep it together at first, but it soon became obvious that Ivan had learned all the exact buttons to push to drive the nervous blonde straight up the wall. Matthew was soon angry every time Ivan tried to push him to go farther, accusing Ivan of not loving  _ him _ if he wasn’t willing to wait. Eventually, there had been one huge blowout fight that none of Matthew’s family witnessed at Ivan’s house, apparently the only one to see or hear it being Natalya.

 

After the fight, and hearing what they were arguing about and witnessing the two of them almost getting violent, Natalya had stopped taking her brother’s side and began hanging out with Matthew more, seeing as she knew he didn’t want to break up with Ivan, as he really loved her brother, but couldn’t give himself over yet. To her, the details were irrelevant, when it came down to it: Matthew didn’t want to have sex yet, and Ivan couldn’t wrap his head around that.

 

Natalya soon picked up that there were other reasons that Matthew didn’t want to be physically exposed to her brother, but never asked him why. When Matthew had got upset while they were stoned in the basement once, she had only leaned over and used her nails to scratch his head and run her hands through his hair, telling him it would be alright and Ivan would come around.

 

After the big fight, however, Matthew had quieted down, and so had Ivan. Their relationship turned to a constant tension between them, both seemingly detached and distant. They would still hang out, sure, but it was easy to see that they were nowhere near as comfortable as they had once been. It all came to an end on the night of their birthday party the summer before, on July second. Being intoxicated, Matthew and Ivan had begun getting along better than they had in almost two months, hanging all over each other and making out on the couch in the living room. Ivan had somehow coaxed Alfred’s twin upstairs and into his guest bedroom.

 

They were lucky that Christian had stumbled in when he had. Matthew had been laid out underneath Ivan, pants down and shirt pushed up his chest, and Ivan was completely drunk. Christian couldn’t even tell if it was Ivan anymore, because for the most part he was as nice as Matthew, just a little scarier physically. Matthew had, apparently, said no once again, and Drunk Ivan didn’t have the sense to stop. He had put a hand over Matthew’s mouth, and was having a struggle to unzip his own pants as Matthew pushed at his shoulders without much luck, probably far more drunk than the Russian boy on top of him. Christian had ran in and ripped Ivan off of his cousin, screaming at him to get out while he checked a crying Matthew’s body to make sure he was okay. Ivan had sobered up immediately after being pushed in the floor and yelled at, and tried to start apologizing until Christian sent him a glare that could rival Natalya’s as he cradled Matthew’s head to his chest and stood between the two.

 

Ivan had stumbled out, and ran into Alfred in the hallway right outside the open door, who was staggering down the hall with a girl tucked under his arm until he caught sight of what was going on. In less than five minutes, Ivan was officially banned from the Jones household and any contact with Matthew.

 

After that, for a month, Ivan would use any means he could to try and apologize to Matthew. He knew he had made a mistake, a huge one. There wasn’t enough groveling he could do to make it up to his ex boyfriend, and he knew they wouldn’t be able to be friends again. It wasn’t until Ivan had bit the bullet and went to Matthew’s family directly that everything was made clear. Alfred still regretted telling Ivan. The look on the Russian boy’s face was something he would never get out of his memory. But he had seemed so pitiful, so absolutely distraught, that Alfred had to explain that this was not totally his fault. Especially since Matthew had barely left the house before, and now stayed confined all the time.

 

Alfred stood and decided to go for a jog to take his mind off of everything before he went crazy, even though the sun would set soon and he wasn’t sure where his brother was. He didn’t want to think about the words that had caused Ivan to make that face, he didn’t want to relive their childhood. He didn’t want to think about how the fear in Matthew’s eyes when they were small should have been obvious every time their mother decided it was time for one of her special lessons.

 

But no matter how hard he pushed himself, he couldn’t get any of these images out of his mind, and the most haunting one stayed at the forefront of his brain as the words he had said to Ivan repeated over and over in his head. The picture of a six year old Matthew taking their mother’s hand and going into her room, looking over his shoulder at Alfred, lavender eyes almost overtaken by the pupils blown wide in fear.

  
Alfred felt the muscles in his legs twinge as he pushed just a little bit harder, working so much to try and leave these memories behind him.


	7. To live a second life on second head,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least one mystery was solved. Now for the more pressing one - there had been eskimo kisses, and then his memory got blurry. When had the rubbing of noses led to a full-blown cuddling session?
> 
> Yeah, Matthew thought, I’m really tired of being embarrassed today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got the worst possible news but because I'm such a nervous dork, I'm going to add that at the end. That being said, the bad news is important, especially to other writers that actually still read this, so please check the end notes out.
> 
> Sorry this update took so long I've had it written for a while but I am actual trash apologies

Matthew woke with a start, the sound of a door slamming shocking him awake. His first realization was that he was not at home. The scent of stale smoke and beer was always cleaned up before he woke up after a party at his house. Katyusha was good at her job. (Al also knew that Matthew wouldn’t help at all, so he tried to get it over with as soon as he woke up. He had the misfortune of always waking up early after drinking.)

 

Second, he was not alone. There was another person’s body on top of the right side of his own, a leg between his and soft breaths puffing out against his neck. As he tried to identify this person, he came to his third realization.

 

He wasn’t wearing his glasses. And, finally, his fourth realization: Gilbert was asleep. On top of him.

 

Gilbert, despite being almost the same height as him, had more muscle mass and was far heavier than Matthew. While the blonde had become accustomed to people sleeping in a way that smothered him (Alfred and Christian) the fact that it was Gilbert made it more nerve wracking and sent his pulse hammering as he struggled to find a way out of this situation. However, seeing as he was stuck for the moment, he began to try and remember all that had happened the night before.

 

Natalya had been there. That was a nice surprise, he’d missed her. Then he’d hung out with Gilbert and his friends - there were a lot of dick jokes. Elizaveta and Roderich went to have sex, and then Gilbert said something about him being shirtless, and then Matthew had replied with something about traffic cones and bird daddies…

 

Matthew squinted at the ceiling, letting the arm that had been curled around Gilbert’s shoulders fall to the side and off the couch. His hand hit the floor with a thump, then a click as something was jostled by his fingers. Feeling the cool metal of the frames under his palm, Matthew lifted the glassed to his face and looked at them blearily before perching them on his nose, where they belonged.

 

At least one mystery was solved. Now for the more pressing one - there had been eskimo kisses, and then his memory got blurry. When had the rubbing of noses led to a full-blown cuddling session? Someone snorted above him as he tried to piece together every part of the night before, causing him to look up into a pair of amused blue irises.

 

“Hey, Natvey,” he croaked, voice scratchy from the night before and sleep. She quirked a brow and made a ‘tsk’ noise, crossing her arms over her chest. Her bun seemed to slowly be committing suicide, the elastic holding it up slowly losing its vigor to do its job and letting her waist-length hair slide away. 

 

“Hey, yourself,” she mocked quietly, cautious of the other boy’s sleeping state. “I see you two stopped playing tonsil hockey long enough to get some shut-eye in.”

 

Matthew’s head tilted slightly, not understanding, before all the memories crashed into his sleep addled mind in a wave. The eskimo kisses. The first kiss, totally innocent. The second, that he initiated, being far less innocent. Gilbert’s  _ tongue _ in his  _ mouth _ . His entire face flamed a bright red as he brought up his only free hand to cover one of his cheeks in embarrassment. Not only had they tried to have sex using only their tongues, they’d done it in a  _ room full of people. _

 

“Oh my god,” he exhaled, peeking up at Natalya’s smug expression. She let out a giggle - a noise only open to those she chose to show it to - and any other time Matthew would have found it endearing that such a seemingly terrifying girl giggled, but now it was just mortifying.

 

“You seemed to be having a good time, so I left you be. Tell me, have you always liked the taste of German, or is it acquired over time?” she teased with a wiggle of her eyebrows, voice still low as she reached out to poke one cherry red cheek.

 

Matthew groaned in despair, pushing her hand away. However, Matthew had never been a smooth operator in anything other than hockey, so he miscalculated how much this would jostle the boy on top of him. Natalya laughed as Matthew visibly flinched at the sight of bright red eyes popping open to look at him.

 

Natalya took one look at Gilbert’s confused expression and stood back with her nose wrinkled. She looked back to Matthew with a slight disdain in her eyes. “It’s fine if it makes you happy, but I don’t even like the sight of German. You have fun sorting this out,” she concluded, turning on her heel and walking towards the front door, pulling her keys out of her pocket and throwing a wave at Matthew over her shoulder before closing the door.

 

Matthew stared after her in longing, wishing she would come back and give him whatever small sense of comfort she could when Gilbert inevitably brought up the night before. There was a tense moment before Gilbert finally spoke. “What was that all about?”

 

Matthew looked back at him, before getting overwhelmed by the state of Gilbert’s hair ruffled up on his head in a white cloud that shot in all directions, the crooked stance of his glasses as they hung precariously on the end of his nose, and his eyes trying to blink back sleep while he stared back at Matthew curiously. Matthew was blushing for a whole different reason now, looking away quickly to focus on the frame of the doorway to the kitchen. He could smell eggs cooking and hear the sound of quiet chatter between Elizaveta and someone else.

 

Matthew decided to get straight to the point as Gilbert shifted slightly, laying on his side between Matthew and the couch cushions with an arm casually wrapped around Matthew’s stomach to keep him from falling off the couch.

 

“How much do you remember?” Matthew asked hesitantly. 

 

Gilbert didn’t hesitate, giving Matthew a cheeky smile. “Everything.”

 

Matthew’s breath hitched as he looked back and caught Gilbert’s expression. The albino seemed to have fun watching Matthew’s reaction, laughter shaking his whole body as he tried to contain it and leaned forward to whisper seductively in Matthew’s ear.

 

“I would paint giant traffic cones with you  _ anytime _ ,” he muttered, brushing his lips against the blonde’s bright red ear. It tickled, and left Matthew in a laughing mess for more than just the stupid statement. Gilbert caught on and blew air onto Matthew’s ear while reaching up a hand to hold Matthew’s head in place by the chin.

 

“Gil! Stop that!” he choked out, trying to push the albino’s face away.

 

“Only if you call me Gilly again!” he demanded, pushing himself up on his elbows so he hovered over the hysterical boy beneath him to pull a finger into his mouth.

 

“Please- don’t- Gil,” Matthew wheezed, watching helplessly as Gilbert maneuvered around his arms to bring the wet digit closer to the ear that hadn’t been attacked yet.

 

“What was that?” Gilbert asked through a smile, starting to laugh himself, “I don’t know anyone by that name. Ask me nicely, with that cute nickname you used last night,” he taunted.

 

Matthew yelped as the feeling of the cold fingertip brushed against his ear, almost rolling off the couch to avoid it. “Ok, ok, Gil! Stop!” he gasped. The feeling of spit inside his ear was too much, and he accidentally shouted. “Gilly, please!”

 

Gilbert released him with a satisfied hum, letting Matthew raise his arms and wipe the spit out of his ear and tears from his eyes. This was the third time Matthew turned red this morning, and he was honestly getting tired of it. 

 

“That was so cute, I’m gonna throw up,” a voice cooed. It would have sounded friendly if it weren’t for the menacing undertone. Both boys turned to look at Elizaveta as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen, hair in the messiest ponytail known to man and an annoyed glare fixed on her face as she glowered down at the couch invaders.

 

Matthew squeaked out an apology while Gilbert grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “Mind your own business, cow.”

 

“I’m glad you two are finally awake. You’re the last ones to wake up, it’s almost two.” Elizaveta snapped, turning back into the kitchen. As the door swung open, the sound of muted chatter could be heard from whoever was still around, leading Matthew to believe they would also be some of the last ones to leave. He could only pick up about six or seven voices, and they all sounded tired and content.

 

Gilbert shifted on top of him, and resumed his original place of lying flat on top of Matthew’s chest, resting his hands under his chin and elbows out to the side. Matthew just flipped his head back on the armrest to avoid looking at the other, still wishing he was somewhere else. Yes, he liked Gilbert. A lot. But they had went a little too quickly for his heart and mind to handle, and now he had to find some way to tell Gilbert he wanted to wait a while before doing anything remotely similar again without hurting his feelings.

 

Or maybe Gilbert had just made a mistake in kissing him back. Who knows, maybe that was just how Gilbert reacted to people while he was stoned. The thought kind of stung, but if that’s how it was, he would understand. Matthew was no prize, he wasn’t attractive and his personality was extremely closed off. Gilbert probably wanted someone open, someone he deserved-

 

“So, now that you know I like you, am I allowed to steal hugs or do I still need to ask?” Gilbert deadpanned, and when Matthew moved his head back in a position where he could see the albino, Gilbert looked completely content.

 

“Y-you like me?” Matthew mumbled, surprised. He was almost sure the entire night before had just been a mistake. Gilbert’s forehead wrinkled, and his previously peaceful smile turned down in distaste.

 

“Mattie, I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t. Do you really think that lowly of me?” Gilbert’s voice had a distinct pang of hurt, and he looked far less relaxed than he had seconds before. Matthew, not really thinking, panicked and tried to sit up, only to get halfway there and have to stay propped on his elbows as Gilbert, too, rose up and balanced by putting his hands on the couch by Matthew’s hips, but didn’t get off.

 

“No, Gilbert, I’d never think that! I just, I don’t see why you would like me, I’m not-”

 

Matthew was abruptly cut off by Gilbert kissing him, even as his mouth still tried to move. Gilbert only pushed forward, forcing him to be still. This was somehow calming, when Matthew was sure it should have made him panic further. Instead it felt as if Gilbert was assuring him that he was there, and that he wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. He pulled back, a slightly exasperated smile on his face, sharp teeth gleaming in the light coming in through the blinds of the window across from their couch.

 

“ _ Shut up _ , Matthew.”

 

Matthew felt the heat creeping into his cheeks once again, and tried hiding his face in the couch cushions as Gilbert chuckled and tried to pull him back.

 

_ Yeah, _ Matthew thought,  _ I’m really tired of being embarrassed today. _

 

~*~*~*~

 

On the drive back home, It was clear Gilbert was more than pleased with the turn of events. He’d basically skipped through the entire getting ready routine, a goofy grin pinned to his face all throughout eating with his friends and changing into new clothes that didn’t reek of pot. He’d carried both of their bags again back to the car, and his goodbyes with his friends were even more energetic than their greetings the day before, if possible.

 

It seemed Gilbert’s joy was infectious too, and that Elizaveta knew the albino boy too well. As Matthew was about to pull out on the road, he glanced in his rearview mirror to see the brunette girl wiggling her eyebrows and making awkward hip thrusting motions from the porch, along with a scandalized Roderich trying to drag his girlfriend back inside before the neighbors saw. Thankfully, Gilbert hadn’t seen, or he was sure he’d combust from the comments sure to follow.

 

It was peaceful until they were about to be at the point where Matthew would break off his usual route to go to Gilbert’s house.

 

“Um,” Gilbert began, sounding slightly nervous, “would you mind if I just went back to your house with you for now? I can get Lud to pick me up later. I just don’t want to go home just yet.”

 

Matthew felt the crimson eyes burning into the side of his face, and he spluttered for a second before nodding his consent and kept going instead of turning right. 

 

“Just a warning though, I have a Skype call with my friend Lars later. I don’t know whether or not you’ll be able to stay in the room while that goes on, because he can get a bit…” Matthew paused, trying to find the right words to describe just how insufferable Lars could be. “Let’s just say, everyone in my family has tried to crash the calls at some point, and all of them left on their own after about ten minutes. Lars isn’t very fond of other people in general.”

 

Gilbert relaxed back in his seat and looked out the window as they approached the mansion. “That’s fine. Why did they leave though?”

 

Matthew laughed a little under his breath, and put on his blinker to turn into his drive. “Well, like I said, Lars doesn’t like other people very much, and he doesn’t try to hide it. We’ve been friends for almost a year and a half now, so I don’t take anything he says to heart, but everyone else can’t handle how easily he insults you or picks you apart. He also uses that to his advantage to get them away during our calls.”

 

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, and twisted around to get their bags out of the back seat. Matthew diverted his eyes from the skin shown as Gilbert’s shirt rose up his abdomen. “So how did you guys meet, anyway?”

 

Matthew didn’t answer for a moment, instead reaching back and tying his hair in a short ponytail with the band on his wrist, and then opened his door and got out of the car. Gilbert let him have a moment, sensing it wasn’t something the other boy liked to talk about. There seemed to be a lot of things Matthew didn’t like talking about. They were safely inside the house and on their way up the stairs before the blonde gave a response.

 

“It was an online support group. Lars and I have similar...issues, and as nice as they were, no one else had a situation as close to mine as he did. We ended up sticking together even after we both left the support group for reasons.” Matthew’s voice left off softly, and then he let out a shaky breath as they reached the top of the stairs. 

 

Gilbert wisely chose to stay silent, and followed Matthew quietly to his room. As soon as the door closed behind them, Gilbert dropped their bags and headed to one of the bean bags littering the floor and plopped down. He watched as Matthew opened his laptop and checked a few things, before the blonde turned to him with a slightly nervous smile.

 

“I’ve got about a half hour or so before I need to start the call, so what do you wanna do?” Matthew asked, turning and hanging his legs off the edge of the bed to look at Gilbert more comfortably. Gilbert let out a quiet hum, before sitting up and putting his elbows on his knees and resting his head on one palm to look Matthew directly in the eyes.

 

“My ulterior motive in coming over here was to have the talk,” he admitted, watching as Matthew swallowed and looked down. He nodded, standing up to sit in the bean bag across from Gilbert and fiddling with the string on his hoodie as he waited for the albino to lead the conversation.

 

Gilbert smiled at the sudden shy side popping up again, and instead of taking it as Matthew not wanting to talk about it, he knew it was just the way the blonde operated.

 

“So, we rubbed our noses together, kissed, and then made out until we fell asleep. Pretty sure you agreed to get my bird’s approval too. Does that cover it?” Gilbert summarized, kicking at Matthew’s foot with a teasing smile.

 

Matthew barely glanced up, but had an equally teasing smile on his face as he murmured, “I think you also agreed to give me a new hoodie, which I’m totally going to hold you to.”

 

Gilbert laughed, and scooted his bean bag closer to Matthew’s so he could play footsie comfortably with him. Matthew let a small bout of laughter slip past his lips, and looked into Gilbert’s face fully. Gilbert took the opportunity to get out the real question on both their minds.

 

“So, do you want to be my boyfriend?”

 

Matthew took in a sharp breath, and glanced around the room quickly, eyeing a particular patch of purple paint on the wall before looking back at Gilbert’s crimson irises, his dorky black glasses, his messy white hair, and his stupidly shark-like grin, before realizing there was really only one answer to that question. He’d been screwed as soon as Gilbert had tapped his shoulder and been the first beautiful sight he’d seen after waking up in years.

 

“ _ Definitely _ ,” he replied, and Gilbert’s feet stilled as his grin got even wider, if possible. Matthew hated to say something that might dim that bright expression, but it felt important that he say it before they got serious. “But - you’re going to have to go slow with me. I haven’t had the best experiences in relationships before.”

 

Gilbert didn’t falter at all, spewing out agreements before scooting across the floor like an idiot until their bean bags were right next to each other and leaning over to give Matthew a giant (gross, wet) kiss on the cheek. Matthew let out a loud sound of protest, feeling the definite texture of spit on his face, and winced as he rose a hand to his cheek and felt it stick to his fingers. “You’re disgusting,” he complained, bending to wipe his face on Gilbert’s arm.

 

Gilbert wrinkled his nose but didn’t move away, instead catching Matthew’s face on the way back up and guiding their lips together, kissing the other boy softly and trying to show his gratitude without words. Matthew’s entire body went still, and he felt his hands tremble slightly, but as it seemed Gilbert was about to pull away, he instead moved on shaky hand to cup his jaw and keep their mouths together. It had been almost two years since he’d even come close to kissing someone, and while it did make him nervous, the closeness provided just by this gesture left him craving more.

 

More of the boy who’d decided to be his friend. The one who stayed by his side even after finding more interesting people. The one who accepted all the strange angles of Matthew’s personality. The one who invited Matthew somewhere he didn’t belong but made a space for him to fit. The one who refused to let Matthew hide. No, that was wrong - he let Matthew hide, but instead of leaving him alone, he crawled into the hiding place with him.

 

It was a new kind of attraction Matthew had never experienced. It was scary. He felt like any second, if he let his guard down, Gilbert would wiggle in and carve out a permanent spot in his chest. He could destroy Matthew with the flick of a wrist.

 

_ And how nice it would be,  _ Matthew thought contentedly,  _ to be ruined by someone so amazing. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all THEY'RE TOGETHER HOW GR8 IS THAT WOWOWOW. Now for the bad news
> 
> ...Ok so,  
> I have fell out of the Hetalia fandom. A lot. I still love me some PruCan and read it often, but as far as my own works, I've lost inspiration. I tried my hardest to push myself back into Hetalia, and I watched my entire YT playlist of Hetalia shit the other day to try and get my love for it back, but alas. I have started the next chapter for this fic, but it is sitting around 2300 words and torturing me whenever I look at it.
> 
> However!!! If you are a writer and enjoy this fic, I am more than willing to let you take the AU and run with it, share what I have written of the next chapter, and basically help keep it together so that this fic may find a nice ending. (I'd essentially just be a co-author and give my opinion, and help if you were in a tough spot. I really just don't want to write this anymore, but I'm more than willing to help someone else write it and guide it to the end.) I'm sure you've noticed by now that the chapter titles are each a line of Sonnet 68, and that there are meant to be 14 chapters. I lost my way and made a mistake by never deciding the ending to this fic before I began writing it, so it is, basically, open-ended. I know a sudden switch in author might be awkward, and it could be strange to pick up something half-finished and not your own idea. This is only if you want this to have a complete ending. Otherwise, in a week or two, I'll upload what I have written of chapter 8 and then leave it. I've talked to a few people who edit for me and also write and they've said this is the best thing for me to do, because if I were to push myself to finish this, it'd be trash.
> 
> To my readers: thank you for reading, bless you, and you're amazing for the unconditional support while I wrote this. It was certainly an experience to write, and left me insane half of the time, but I enjoyed it. I love you all.


	8. Ere beauty's dead fleece made another gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm a new author here, hijacking this fic! More details in the notes.

About an hour later found Matthew propped up with pillows at the head of his bed while Gilbert lounged quietly next to him, Matthew giving subtle complaints about Lars being late.

 

“Why don’t you just call him?” Gilbert suggested, rolling onto his side and flinging a hand over Matthew’s stomach. The blonde only tensed for a few seconds before relaxing into the touch, and he internally applauded himself. Gilbert hardly took notice, and began tracing little patterns into Matthew’s stomach with a contented hum.

 

“Oh, Lars usually calls because it’s almost-” Matthew glanced quickly at his watch, “-midnight over there, and if I called the noise might wake up his little sister before he leaves the same room as her. He has a complicated living situation,” Matthew explained, slowly growing concerned as to why Lars was even later than he usually was.

 

Gilbert nodded absently against the pillows, and briefly dipped his fingers into Matthew’s belly button and letting out a little huff of laughter when Matthew jumped at the ticklish sensation. “Do I need to worry about this guy trying to steal you from me?”

Matthew snorted, leaning over to give Gilbert a quick kiss on the cheek. “Trust me, Lars and I are too similar to even think about being together, at least in the sense of personality. Plus, I’m almost a hundred percent sure no one wants to steal me.”

 

Gilbert smirked, pushing himself up with his arms to get closer to the blonde’s face. “I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to steal you. All I see is perfection,” Gilbert flirted, bumping their noses together. Matthew got a war flashback to the night before, and only pushed back briefly.

 

“You say I’m perfect now, but you haven’t seen Lars yet. He is literally an Adonis.” Matthew joked, settling back into the pillows with a little huff of laughter. Gilbert followed him, his right hand sliding off Matthew’s stomach to clasp their fingers together while he pressed a soft kiss into the blonde’s flushed cheek, right on top of a freckle he’d been eyeing up for days.

 

“Mm. Sorry to break it to you, Mattie, but sharp edges and muscles aren’t my type. I’m much more into the cuddly, warm, and endearing look.” Gilbert admitted, not at all ashamed as he relaxed back into his original position. Everything was the same as a minute ago, except their hands were still connected with Gilbert’s arm slung across Matthew’s body.

 

“I’m sensing a pattern with soft things, here,” Matthew murmured, brushing his thumb over Gilbert’s knuckles. The albino gave a light sigh, snuggling up to one of the many mismatched pillows adorning the bed with a content smile. He gave no real response, only humming back an affirmative before letting his eyes drift shut for a moment.

 

A few minutes later, the ring of Matthew’s computer finally came from the speakers, and the blonde dropped Gilbert’s hand in favor of pulling the laptop onto his lap and answering it. As the video buffered, Matthew tensed up for a second before immediately falling back to his easy posture when the image flickered onto the screen. Gilbert dared to peek an eye opened, before they both shot wide and he wondered how this looked at all comforting to Matthew.

 

There was, indeed, an extremely attractive guy glaring into the camera, but off to the side you could see his arm being tugged roughly by an agitated dog with teeth sunk into his skin almost deep enough to draw blood. The mouth on the screen moved, but no sound came out, and Matthew’s eyebrows furrowed before he saw the problem and yanked his headphones out of the jack.

 

The room was filled with the angry, deep Dutch curses, and the growling of the dog. Maybe it was a bulldog, or maybe it was a poodle, it was moving too fast for Gilbert to tell. Matthew only seemed amused, even as Lars spat out words that obviously meant something horrible. “Is he okay?” Gilbert asked hesitantly.

 

Matthew nodded, immediately cooing at the dog. “Aww, little Tulip is angry today! What did the mean man do?” he asked soothingly. Lars’ glare intensified greatly as the dog instantly dropped his arm and crawled into his lap to look at Matthew through the screen, releasing a happy bark. Matthew giggled while his friend struggled to remove the (what Gilbert could now tell was) fully-grown labrador retriever from his legs.

 

“I swear, if I hadn’t had her since she was born, I would think _you_ trained her. I’m leaving her in America when I visit, Mattie.” Lars grumbled, finally succeeding in pushing the hyperactive dog away from him. Matthew let out a chuckle, waving as Lars stood and pushed the dog out of the room before slamming the door shut.

 

“Was Tulip the reason you’re late?” Matthew asked curiously, adjusting the screen so he could see it better.

 

“You’re damn right she is. She decided her purpose tonight was to bark right outside Bella’s bedroom door, and then when I finally got her to shut up, she decided she’d try her hand at being a vicious attack dog. Thank fuck you’re an animal whisperer, or she might’ve ripped my arm off.” Lars ranted, rubbing at his bright red arm. There were little dark red streaks where Tulip’s teeth had been embedded, but they seemed to not even faze Matthew.

 

“She only chews on you out of love, Lars,” Matthew chided. As Lars settled back in front of the camera, Gilbert finally got a good look at him. He had light brown hair that could be easily mistaken for blonde in the right light, and piercing green eyes that didn’t seem to want to stop glaring any time soon. Lars also seemed to notice Gilbert, sitting up straighter in his chair.

 

“Who’s that, Matt?” Lars asked, eyes narrowing at the albino boy menacingly. His trust was not easily won, that’s for sure.

 

Matthew practically gleamed as he looked down at Gilbert, a smile worth a thousand suns pouring over the boy beside him as he met the gaze. “As of about an hour ago, this is my boyfriend, Gilbert. He’s great,” Matthew chirped, poking a pleased Gilbert on the cheek before looking back to his Dutch friend. “I wanted you to be the first to know.”

 

Lars at first seemed on edge, but then calmed after the second half of the sentence. His scowl twisted into a strange half-smile when looking at Matthew’s elated expression. “Oh, I found out before Big Alfie and the lord and savior?” he asked slyly, letting out a breath of amusement. Matthew rolled his eyes, ignoring the stupid nicknames.

 

“Yeah,” Gilbert snorted, “you found out even before the salty baguette.”

 

There was a quiet moment, and then Matthew choked on a laugh, wheezing out a strained giggle, and Lars let out a little wheeze of a laugh, hand darting up to cover his mouth as his eyes squinted. He pointed a finger at the screen for a second, trying to peer through his scrunched up eyelids and failing miserably. Both Matthew and Lars seemed to calm down at about the same time, which was a little creepy to Gilbert, but he let it slide as Lars wiped a tear from beneath his eye and let out a noise of relief at getting his breath back. “Okay, yeah, Matthew. Not sure if you had that one planned, but you have my blessing.”

 

Matthew smiled in reply, tapping a finger on Gilbert’s arm happily. The albino grinned too, and then rolled to the side to get off the other side of the bed. Matthew looked up with a question in his eyes, that Gilbert answered by pointing at the bathroom door.

 

As Gilbert passed by the end of the bed and headed for the door, he made him aware that the extra toilet paper was below the sink in case it was out. Gilbert waved noncommittally and closed the door behind him.

 

“So,” Lars began immediately when he heard the door shut, “how much does he know about us? Or, more specifically, you?” His voice brooked no wiggle room, and demanded the truth.

 

Matthew winced, casting his eyes off to the side for a second before returning them to the screen. “Well, not too much. He knows we have similar problems, but he doesn’t know what they are.”

Lars nodded solemnly, leaning back in his seat on screen and scrubbing a hand over his face before looking back to Matthew. “You realize I’m only going to be nice to him because you seem to like him so much, right?”

 

Matthew hummed an affirmative, shifting against the pillows. He honestly hadn’t even expected that much. Lars let out a relieved sigh and tilted his chair forward again until the legs touched the ground. “Good. I might slip up a little, but as long as he doesn’t take it to heart we’ll be good. How’s it been lately?”

 

Matthew knew ‘it’ was not just his general state of being. “Well, I was nervous about getting in a relationship again. Especially after Ivan. But I think...I think Gilbert is different. It’s nothing big, there are no super dramatic character differences between him and Ivan that make him better, but...I don’t know. He just has a different feel about him, y’know?”

 

Lars stared at him blankly for a second before pulling out his desk drawer and mumbling about “not high enough for this shit.”

 

“Oh, come on, Lars. I thought you gave it up for Bella!” Matthew complained, frowning into the camera. Lars only slightly halted in his movements before continuing to dig around, not looking back up.

 

“I did, I did. Once in a while isn’t all that bad, Matt. I only smoke every other week, now. This teenage dream shit is giving me a headache, though.” Lars replied, finally uncovering a pipe with a small grunt from knocking his hand against the wood of the drawer. He wriggled around in his chair until he could maneuver a small lighter out of his pocket, which he always carried out of habit. Matthew wrinkled his nose as he lit the pipe, and Lars rolled his eyes so hard he felt like they would roll out of his head. “Don’t nag me, I know you were baked last night, you stront .” 

 

“Don’t insult me in Dutch, I still understand it. At least if you say it in English we know Bella won’t understand if she happens to hear you.” Matthew whined, lips pulling together in a line at the thought of Lars’ younger sister getting in trouble for cursing at school.

Lars tilted his head as he sucked in, and he blew out the smoke right as Gilbert opened the bathroom door and came ambling back in. “Who’s raising her, me or you? I’ll teach her whatever words I want.” he snapped, the slits of his eyes darting to Matthew’s face.

 

Gilbert paused at the edge of the bed, sensing the change in the mood. Matthew, in a rare bout of anger, scowled right back and rose to the bait, despite knowing Lars only started fights when he was upset about something else. “Yeah, you’re right, you can teach her whatever you want. What did she learn from the last time she walked in on you smoking your problems away?” Matthew replied icily. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Nobody but Matthew would ever be able to notice it, but Lars was seriously upset.

 

Lars sat up straight in the camera, fingers twitching towards the mouse to end the call, but not sure if he wanted to leave this way. “Fuck you, Matt, that was a low blow, and you know it.”

 

Matthew bowed his head, taking a few deep breaths to calm down before apologizing. “Sorry, I usually don’t fight back at you. Gil’s back, but you can tell me what’s going on some other time,” he said softly, and couldn’t help the pleased gleam in his eye when Lars set the pipe down after a moment.

 

“Yeah, okay. Can’t get anything past you, I guess.” A few beats of silence passed as Gilbert crawled back onto the bed, but stayed on the other side and gave Matthew his space. Lars continued, “Did you ask your dad about the visit yet?”

 

And so they descended into a conversation about Lars’ eventual visit to the U.S., Gilbert occasionally joining in but mostly respecting Matthew’s time with his friend. After they finally closed the call, Matthew pushed the laptop off his lap and collapsed on his side on the bed, the top of his head brushing Gilbert’s arm.

 

“You guys have been planning it for a while, huh?” Gilbert asked, staring at the ceiling. Matthew hummed a positive response, a smile on his face at the thought of seeing Lars and Bella in real life.

 

“Since about four weeks after we started talking, I think. That was before he got custody of Bella, though. After that happened we had to push it back a while.” Matthew recalled, fingers twitching to somehow get closer to Gilbert even as his instincts told him to back away.

 

“Oh? How old is Lars?” Gilbert questioned, taking his arm back to his side of the bed and playing with his hoodie zipper.

 

“Lars is 20, he’ll be 21 in January. Bella’s just turned 7.” Matthew replied, casting a cursory glance the albino’s way when he made a choking noise. Was the four years age difference so shocking? “What?”

 

“Is he really almost 21? He acts like he’s 17,” Gilbert stated, completely unzipping his hoodie to leave it open, “and he doesn’t look much older, either.”

Matthew let out a breath, and finally gave into his urge to touch Gilbert by reaching over to twist his fingers into the gray material of his sleeve. Despite the fact he was currently expressing just how unimpressed he seemed to be with Lars, Matthew knew that his first impression could have been a lot worse, and so chose to ignore it. What Gilbert was saying was normal, and the warmth of his arm was normal, and everything was fine. He could trust Gilbert; he could touch him, and make that normal, too. Still, somehow, Matthew could not push himself beyond that just then. But the contact did feel like a relief, like the comfort that it should have.

 

“He’s been through a lot, Gil, and… And I think you’d really like him too if you got to know him,” he defended his friend quietly, even though he knew he didn’t really have to. It just felt like something he should have said.

 

Gilbert, though he knew what he, himself, thought of the guy, chose to just trust Matthew’s judgment and leave it there. After all, Lars had seemed to approve of his awesomeness, so could he really complain about much?

 

After giving a gentle nod, Gilbert began slowly moving his arm from Matthew’s head, and positioning it instead around him to pull him closer. The reaction this got was a temporary stiffening of the other man. Matthew’s head was screaming at him to pull away, to not get too close or touch too much. But he couldn’t move. He liked it, and that frightened him after having spoken briefly about Ivan with Lars.

 

Knowing that something was off and not wanting to overstep his boundaries in that moment, Gilbert suddenly retracted his arm and hopped up from the bed. “Hey, Mattie, aren’t you hungry after that? Do you think Alfred has some burgers hidden somewhere or something?” It was late, sure, but he could always eat.

 

After a short sigh, the blond shook his head and chuckled. “Very healthy of you, Gilbert,” he chided, though he was standing too, and then approaching the door. The two went off downstairs in search of food, talking about any little thing they could, and just enjoying the company. No mention was made of when Gilbert might be going home that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! So, the story is, if you didn't know, the original author had written most of this chapter and then decided to discontinue the fic. If you've read up to this point, I'm sure you know why I couldn't just let that happen, so now I'm going to do my best to continue it! I hope I can do the original author justice.
> 
> Just a heads up, I don't ship USUK, so there will probably be a lot less of that from here on out. I hope that's okay!
> 
> Finally, just a quick apology for this chapter. For one, there's a pretty abrupt change in writing style towards the end there where I picked it up, but there's not much to be done about that. Secondly, I'm sorry for how long it took to edit and repost. I finished the chapter, then it wouldn't let me upload the changes for a while, then I lost the updated chapter, and then midterms happened, and then I rewrote it. But hey, it's finally up! I can't say the other updates won't be slow, but I'll try my best.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy my writing!

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment!!! I need!!! Validation!!! ty lol


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